Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Informations are crucial for any kind of experiments or activities in these days. Every organization in the world relies on information to handle their tasks, problems etc.

In the field of science, researchers use large amount of dataset to analysis problems and find the solutions. For example: Biomedical scientists collect medical information of people, do various activities to collect physiological information to expand their knowledge and improve the early treatment of various diseases. Sharing the medical information willingly for a person is necessary to improve this field. Informations are also be shared between scientists. New researcher can continue their research and overcome drawbacks that were seen by the previous researchers' study.

Information plays a key role in business sector. They explore and collect information of the customer demands, market situations and the availability of any particular products. They need to study the market, so that they can provide necessary services. These can be done by collecting various informations of people, market and the overall society. It is also important to share informations among other groups of business. A single organization cannot serve the whole country, so sharing information of any product or particular topic will be helpful for other organizations.

Academic world is fully based on knowledge and information. Academic research such as persuing degrees, theoretical or practical problems rely on information.

Although sharing information can level each sector up, it has some drawbacks. There are confidential information that can't be shared. Suppose, in science sector, some are asked to give their information which could be life threatening. In the era of AI, sharing pictures, bio data or any other personal information are too risky. It causes deepfake problems. Bad people uses those information to do illegal works. In business sector, they compete to each other. So leaking internal information can lead the organization fall behind. There are also some risks in academic area too.

Information is essential but privacy is more important. From my perspective, there should be a limit of sharing informations. People should define their confidential information and keep their privacy safe.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both the benefits of sharing information and the risks of doing so, while providing a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, particularly the examples regarding biomedical research and business competition. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the discussion on the academic world is quite brief and lacks the depth seen in the other sections. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand your supporting arguments with more specific examples or deeper analysis, ensuring that each paragraph contributes equally to the overall discussion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is logically organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. Phrases like 'In the field of science' and 'In business sector' are used to transition, but the flow between sentences within paragraphs could be smoother. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the use of 'These' in the second paragraph, which does not clearly point back to a specific antecedent. Improving the variety of linking words would enhance the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey their meaning clearly. However, there is a recurring error with the word 'informations', which is an uncountable noun and should simply be 'information'. There are also some instances of imprecise word choice, such as 'do various activities' and 'bad people', which are too informal for an academic essay. While you attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'biomedical' and 'confidential', the range is somewhat limited. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and avoiding informal phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and article usage (e.g., 'In business sector' should be 'In the business sector'). The pluralization of 'information' is a consistent error throughout the text. While you attempt complex sentences, they are often slightly awkward or contain minor errors that do not impede communication but do affect the overall fluency. Increasing the variety of complex structures and proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would significantly improve your score.

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