Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In recent years, many people guidance to the parents and teachers and also teach students how to learn scientific research, business and the academic world. It is often argued that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world while others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. This essay will discus both perspectives before explaining why I believe that is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.
On the one hand, many people believe that some information will be valuable to be shared freely because it had helpful for their business investments and privacy and safety because these things will help out to the students to run your own business and make more improvements for their future work.
On the other hand, many people believe that, it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world many people gain information through Internet and news they will help numerous things such as predicted weather condition, pandemic flood etc. Private data, such as personal health records or national security details, must remain secret to avoid misuse. If firms share all data for free, competitors can copy products without paying development costs.
To conclude, both arguments have own merits however I strongly believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely because it helps us numerous in the future and also gain experience as it provides more advantages for individuals and society.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both views and provides a clear personal position. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. The first body paragraph is confusing, as it attempts to argue for free sharing but then mentions 'privacy and safety' as reasons for it, which is contradictory. The second paragraph is more successful in providing specific examples like 'personal health records' and 'competitors', but the overall argument lacks depth. The introduction is also problematic, as it includes irrelevant information about 'guidance to parents and teachers' which does not relate to the prompt. To improve, ensure that each paragraph focuses on one clear argument and that your supporting points directly justify your position.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is frequently interrupted by unclear phrasing and abrupt transitions. While cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' are used, they do not always introduce the content effectively, leading to confusion. For example, the transition between the introduction and the first body paragraph is weak. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of the argument. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each sentence builds logically upon the previous one would significantly enhance the coherence of the essay.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. There is a reliance on simple, repetitive language, such as 'many people believe' and 'good to share'. Some word choices are awkward or imprecise, such as 'predicted weather condition, pandemic flood etc.', which lacks formal academic tone. There are also instances where the intended meaning is obscured by poor collocation. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more sophisticated vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'intellectual property', 'transparency', or 'proprietary information', and ensure that your word choices are contextually appropriate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'it had helpful'), incorrect word order, and missing articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. The sentence 'In recent years, many people guidance to the parents...' is grammatically broken and lacks a clear main verb. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be a beneficial starting point.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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