Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this contemporary era, few individuals feel that sharing all information in the areas like scientific research, business and the academic world is good. Whereas, others trust that some information is quite confidential which should not be freely shared. This essay intends to shed light upon both the viewpoints along with my opinion in the forthcoming paragraphs.

To embark upon, there are several points for the former notion. At first, this is better for the development because these kind of departments can use this information to improve and make the system too advance for the future. Which can be useful for the upcoming generations. Furthermore, in business, sharing technical frameworks and standards creates unified systems, making products more accessible and reducing consumer costs. For example, when tesla open-sourced its electric vehicle patents. Then, it encouraged other automakers to build compatible electric charging networks.

On the paradoxical side, there are various things about latter notion also. Firstly, Unrestricted sharing of business information can lead to several data breaches, violating user privacy as well as confidentiality laws. Subsequently, In the corporate sector, a company's market dominance relies on their secret formulas and manufacturing techniques that cannot simply made public and cannot be patended. To exemplify, famous brand Coca-cola never share their secret recipe and keep it as secret trade to prevent competitors from compying their business models.

As per my opinion, the confidential information should be secured rather than sharing it officially because it can be very much harmful for a company.

In conclusion, although sharing all information to these department is help for the betterment of the society. Yet, some information should not published officially and keep it confidential.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views on information sharing in scientific research, business, and academia, and includes a clear personal opinion. The position is maintained throughout the essay. Ideas are generally relevant, such as mentioning Tesla opening its patents and Coca-Cola protecting its secret recipe, which supports the arguments well. However, some arguments lack deeper extension, placing the response comfortably in the Band 6 territory. For instance, the conclusion briefly mentions that sharing is helpful for society, but the body paragraphs could have explored the academic and scientific dimensions with more thorough examples alongside the business focus. Overall, the task is adequately fulfilled with relevant ideas and a clear perspective.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is coherent overall with a clear logical arrangement divided into appropriate paragraphs, including an introduction, two body paragraphs exploring opposing views, a personal opinion paragraph, and a conclusion. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. Phrasing such as 'To embark upon', 'On the paradoxical side', and 'As per my opinion' feels unnatural and misused for academic writing. Furthermore, referencing and sentence linking occasionally break down, as seen in fragment sentences like 'Which can be useful for the upcoming generations' and 'Then, it encouraged other automakers...'. Paragraphing is used, but the overall flow suffers from awkward transitional phrases and abrupt sentence boundaries, pointing to Band 5.5 performance.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task, attempting less common lexical items such as 'contemporary era', 'confidential', 'data breaches', and 'market dominance'. However, there are notable word-choice and collocation errors that prevent a higher score. Examples include 'these kind of departments' (instead of 'these kinds of departments' or 'these sectors'), 'too advance' (instead of 'too advanced'), 'patended' (spelling error for 'patented'), 'cannot simply made public' (grammatical slip affecting word formation), and 'compying' (misspelling of 'copying'). While communication is not impeded, these frequent inaccuracies in word choice and spelling place the lexical resource firmly at Band 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control over grammar is inconsistent. There are several structural errors and fragments throughout the response, such as 'Which can be useful for the upcoming generations' starting a new sentence without a main clause, and 'When tesla open-sourced its electric vehicle patents. Then, it encouraged...' which improperly punctuates a dependent clause. Other errors include subject-verb agreement issues like 'some information are quite confidential' and tense/form slips such as 'cannot simply made public'. While some complex structures are used successfully, the frequency of grammatical errors and punctuation issues places this performance at Band 5.5.

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