Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The growth of online shopping is causing many traditional shops to close. What problems can this create, and what can be done to support traditional shops?

In today's world, advance technology could make humans life easier and comfortable. Including, individuals may order everything through the online apps, while, they provide fast and better services. Consequently, persons can save their time and travel coasts. Therefore, this has become a widely discussion topic. Whether many people believe that online shopping significant or other state that traditional shops are safe for shopping. This essay shall examine both perspective with explain why advantages of online shopping outweigh their manual shops.

Initially, one of the main advantage of digital shopping that it could offer frequent services. Such as, many food and grocery delivery companies could calm that order in ten to fifteen minutes , while, they could provide cash on delivery and retain options. As a result, individuals can order rapidly and save their time, which people can do other important work on that time. Additionally, another main benefits of online shopping that present several employments. To scrutinise, many citizens could start their own e commerce business through the online apps, in the addition digital business may offer excessive profits. Consequently, it could create delivery jobs as a full time and part time, while shipping companies may offer well pay employments. Therefore, digital shopping can promote quick services, moreover, they can provide new jobs and business opportunities.

Despite above the arguments, opponents state that traditional shops can build their trust. For instance, individual can visit offline outlets and check products quality and guarantees, while they can give a chance to bargaining. As a consequence, shopkeepers may make a trust easily and attract new costumers. Moreover, retails stores could paly a vital roles to prevent confusion, to scrutinise, high street shops can present many products and items articles, while people can choose according their taste and sizes. As a result, ordinary people could check their size and fitness on the support, while they can replace easily their products. Therefore, offline stores could contribute to build trust, hence they can offer to check quality and size.

In conclusion, although digital shopping could present quick serves and many new jobs and business jobs opportunities, however traditional stores could play a significant role to build trusts and offer rechange option.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0

The candidate has fundamentally misunderstood the prompt, writing an essay about the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping versus traditional shops instead of addressing the actual prompt concerning the sharing of information in scientific research, business, and academia. While the essay follows a structured format with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, the complete irrelevance to the task topic means the requirements of Task Achievement cannot be met. The position is unclear regarding the actual prompt, and the ideas presented are entirely off-topic. Consequently, this warrants a low band score under Task Achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

Despite the severe off-topic nature of the content, the essay demonstrates a visible attempt at organisation. The response is divided into logical paragraphs, including an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, cohesion is frequently mechanical and sometimes confusing, with inappropriate use of transition signals such as 'Consequently, persons can save their time and travel coasts. Therefore, this has become a widely discussion topic.' Referencing is also occasionally unclear, and logical progression suffers due to disjointed sentence structures. Overall, the essay shows basic paragraphing and a rudimentary organizational framework, aligning with a band 4.5 to 5.0 level.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The lexical range is quite limited and heavily repetitive. The student uses basic vocabulary such as 'advance technology', 'better services', and 'digital shopping', coupled with frequent word-choice and collocation errors (e.g., 'travel coasts' instead of 'travel costs', 'widely discussion topic' instead of 'widely discussed topic', 'calm that order' instead of 'claim that order'). Spelling errors also occur, such as 'costumers' instead of 'customers' and 'rechange' instead of 'exchange'. While communication is occasionally maintained, the persistent errors and restricted range place this firmly in the band 4.0 category.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical range is limited, consisting primarily of simple sentences and flawed attempts at complex structures. There are frequent, noticeable errors in grammar, tense usage, and punctuation throughout the text, such as 'advance technology could make humans life easier' and 'this essay shall examine both perspective with explain why'. Many sentences contain structural faults that cause difficulty for the reader, and punctuation is misused in places (e.g., erratic comma placement before conjunctions). These persistent errors across most sentences reflect the descriptors for a band 4.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.