Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-02
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Some people believe that this is better to share information as possible in scientific research, business and academic world. Other argue that freely exchange knowledge in fields such as science, commerce, and education is highly beneficial. However, the others maintain the particular information is too critical.
On one hand, sharing information can have many benefits In science when researcher give us some information about research, it allows to other make happy to see this and then he is learning to quickly and make progress faster. For example, during healthcare, scientist often share data so that soultion can be find easily. In education, access to book or research paper helps students from the backgrounds and now they are using ai and social apps so they so much benefit from them. In business sharing idea can sometimes to new patnerships and creative solution.
On the other hand, not all information should be shared without limits. In business we have toprotect our screts and stragies because if we tell everything to anyone we can not survive and everyone will know what we will next to do. In education personal data collected during the kept private and protect individuals. Therefore keeping certain information secure is necessary for safety and fairness. In science, some discoveries such as dangerous technologies.
In conclusion, sharing information can help society by spreading knowledge and encouraging progress, but keep some details private is also necessory for safety and business success. a balance approach is best, where useful ideas are shared openly while sensetive or valueable information is protected.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the views in favour of open sharing and those advocating for restrictions, while also providing a clear personal opinion in the conclusion. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others, which is typical of this level. For instance, the arguments regarding business and education are supported with some relevant points, such as mentioning how sharing data helps find solutions in healthcare or how companies protect secrets to survive. On the other hand, the point about science in the third paragraph trails off incomplete ('In science, some discoveries such as dangerous technologies'), leaving the idea under-developed. To reach a higher level, every main idea needs to be fully extended and supported with clear, complete explanations and examples throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear stance split into logical paragraphs, including an introduction, two body paragraphs covering opposing views, and a concluding summary. Cohesive devices are used to signal the progression of ideas, such as 'On one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. Nevertheless, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty. For example, referencing and transitions within paragraphs can be abrupt, such as the sudden shift in the introduction where the sentence 'However, the others maintain the particular information is too critical' slightly disrupts the flow. Additionally, paragraphing is utilised, but the internal logical progression within the third body paragraph is weak due to incomplete thoughts. Improving the smooth integration of cohesive devices and ensuring every sentence builds clearly on the previous one would enhance the overall structure.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting some less common topic-related terms such as 'partnerships', 'strategies', and 'sensitive'. However, there are noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and spelling that occasionally impede communication or distract the reader. Examples include 'screts' instead of secrets, 'stragies' instead of strategies, 'soultion' instead of solution, 'valueable' instead of valuable, and 'necessory' instead of necessary. Furthermore, some collocations and phrasings are awkward, such as 'free exchange knowledge' instead of 'freely exchanging knowledge' and 'a balance approach' instead of 'a balanced approach'. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to expand their lexical repertoire, use less common vocabulary with greater precision, and eliminate spelling and word-form errors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt to use varied structures. There are, however, some recurring errors in grammar and punctuation, including issues with article usage, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions within grammatical patterns. Examples of these errors include 'this is better to share information as possible' instead of 'it is better to share as much information as possible', 'it allows to other make happy' instead of 'it allows others to progress', and 'personal data collected during the kept private' which contains a structural breakdown. While these errors are noticeable, they rarely impede overall communication. To move up to the next band, the writer must increase the proportion of error-free sentences, improve control over complex sentence structures, and refine the accuracy of basic grammatical patterns.
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