Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

My opinion is that about the following statment i agree with the first one to share as much information to our friends relitives and others for the scientific research and as as business and academic world. Because the reason is that for the my opinion when we share information to someone and the other person and before the person is don't know about this information so he or she learn alot of things and alot of ideas for our information and today era is modren era in this era the business, scientific research and the academic is most matter in this era if we share infomation about business so that well be a helpfull to the preson, in scientific research is not a eassy research they must be need to collect information and disscus to other and in academic, academia they revelent to the student and most of student they are confused to decide to take a subject in university level or in school level if, we share the information to the student so i hope they can easily decide thier goals.

And my opinion for the second statment is that I agree both of the two statments i belive some information is too much important and vauable to be shared freely because most of people feel pride on ourselve and they do not shared the sucess information to any one because he think that person goes highly sucess from me. I belive some information are really is most important to share freely to any one.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response addresses the task minimally, touching upon both views regarding information sharing in research, business, and academia, and offering a personal opinion. However, the position is somewhat confusing, as the writer initially states they agree with the first statement, but later adds they agree with both statements. The ideas presented are limited and under-developed, relying heavily on repetitive phrasing and personal assertions rather than well-supported arguments. For instance, the discussion on scientific research simply notes that researchers need to collect information, without exploring the broader implications of open-access data versus proprietary information. To move to a higher band, the writer needs to clearly present a consistent position throughout and extend their main ideas with relevant explanations and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The organisation of information and ideas lacks overall coherence and a clear logical progression. The essay suffers from a lack of proper paragraphing, presented mostly as two very long, dense blocks of text that make it difficult to follow the flow of arguments. Cohesive devices are used very minimally or inappropriately; phrases like 'My opinion is that about the following statment i agree with the first one' and 'And my opinion for the second statment' create a mechanical and repetitive structure. Furthermore, referencing is often unclear, leaving the reader to guess the connections between clauses and ideas. Improving the score would require logical paragraph breaks, a clear introduction and conclusion, and a wider range of appropriate cohesive ties to guide the reader smoothly through the text.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, reflecting a basic range that is only minimally adequate for the task. Throughout the response, words like 'information', 'era', 'important', and 'share' are heavily overused. There are numerous noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and spelling, such as 'statment', 'relitives', 'modren', 'success' spelled as 'sucess', and 'eassy'. These lexical inadequacies and spelling mistakes cause some difficulty for the reader and impede smooth reading. To achieve a higher lexical score, the writer must expand their vocabulary range, incorporate less common lexical items related to business and research, and pay closer attention to accurate word forms and spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures, consisting mainly of run-on sentences joined by coordinating conjunctions or punctuation errors. Attempts at complex sentences are generally faulty, resulting in frequent grammatical errors that can cause significant difficulty for the reader. There are persistent issues with verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and articles, such as 'they must be need to collect', 'student they are revelent', and missing prepositions. Punctuation is also weak, with commas used incorrectly to splice independent clauses. To progress, the writer needs to practise forming accurate simple and complex sentences, monitor basic agreement rules, and improve sentence boundary punctuation.

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