Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, there has been a massive increase in the number of people believing that sharing more information about scientific research, business related and the academic world is a effective approach. While other believe that these kinds of informations are very important or too meaningful for government and individuals to be shared freely. In this essay, I will examine all the relevant information and give my opinion.

As we know for the development of the country, the school anduniversity should teach about the scientific research, business related details and the academic world. It helps new commers and chidren to know and experience about the outside worlfd. For instance, if a 20 years old boy gets a valuable information about the scientific research, in the upcoming days or future he will be a great scientist and became a valuable person for his country. As a result, sharing as much as information about scientifc detail will be a effective approach for finding and making a great individual.

On the other hand, if these information about the scientific research and business get in a wrong person. It will be adversely effect the country and the government, which direclty push them in a serious conditions. For instance, the scientific details which is very significant for the country get in a unauthorized perosn, he\she would misuse them and share to those country, whom they are rivals.

In conclusion, sharing as much as information about the scientific details and business details would provide a great impact for those, who really wants to became something, but i will be a drawbacks if these information are shared freely to a wrong person. So, sharing information to a genuine person will be a effective approach.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the issue and providing an opinion, which aligns with the requirements of the task. However, the development of ideas remains limited and under-developed throughout the essay. For example, the argument regarding the 20-year-old boy becoming a great scientist is overly simplistic and lacks logical extension. Similarly, the counterargument about sensitive information falling into the hands of a rival country is mentioned superficially without deeper exploration of economic or security implications. The writer's position is discernible, particularly in the conclusion, but the overall treatment of the topic tends to generalise rather than explore the complexities of sharing research and business data. To move beyond this level, the ideas need to be much more fully elaborated with stronger, more convincing supporting details and clearer explanations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a recognisable introduction, body paragraphs addressing each viewpoint, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used to separate different aspects of the topic, which helps the reader follow the basic structure of the argument. However, cohesion is at times mechanical or faulty. For instance, the transition 'On the other hand' introduces the counterargument, but referencing within the paragraphs is occasionally unclear, such as the ambiguous pronoun use in 'if these information... get in a wrong person. It will be adversely effect...'. Furthermore, the progression between sentences can feel abrupt, and cohesive devices are somewhat basic or repetitive. To achieve a higher standard, the writer needs to employ a wider range of cohesive links more smoothly and ensure that referencing remains precise throughout the text.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited in range and reflects noticeable errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. The student attempts some less common vocabulary items related to the topic, such as 'scientific research' and 'unauthorized person', but these are accompanied by frequent lexical inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and word form. Examples include 'business related' instead of 'business-related', 'an effective approach' where 'a' is required before 'effective', and the non-standard noun form 'informations'. Additionally, spelling and word-formation errors such as 'commers' and 'worlfd' detract from the quality of the writing. To reach the next level, the writer must expand their lexical repertoire, pay closer attention to word classes and collocations, and minimize basic spelling slips.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on basic sentence forms alongside attempts at complex structures that are frequently faulty. There are persistent errors in verb forms, tenses, subject-verb agreement, and articles. For instance, the opening sentence contains a structural error with the participle phrase in 'the number of people believing that...', and later clauses exhibit tense and agreement issues, such as 'he will be a great scientist and became a valuable person' and 'if these information... get in a wrong person. It will be adversely effect...'. Punctuation and prepositions within grammatical patterns also show regular inaccuracies that demand extra effort from the reader. Incorporating a wider variety of error-free complex sentences and exercising tighter control over basic grammar rules will be essential for future improvement.

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