Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the acdemic world. While, others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.
Overall, it depends upon the type of information. It is essential to keep the information confidential if you are in scientific research, business or army. Because if this information would be shared, it can cause many problems for the country, business or for research.For example, if you would share these type of information people can steal your ideas can use your information for harming you and your business or research. You can face loss because of just sharing much information.
Moreover, if you would share your personal information with others, they can also use this information against you. They can find out your weekness and can target them. That's why, it is too important to not share all the information freely with everyone beacuse u do not know who is loyal to you and will never be a danger for you.
On the other hand, sometimes it is essential to share information with some people but in some fields, it is not allowed. But the rules of privacy do not apply if a person faces a clear and serious danger to their life. In that emergency, we must share the needed information with trusted colleagues or safety teams.
In conclusion, sharing of information is totally dependent on its type. If the sharing information will not harm you and can not cause problems nd difficulties for you and your belongings then it can be shared otherwise not.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
It must first be noted that the length requirement is NOT met; the response is 11 words short of the 250-word minimum, and 35 words copied directly from the task prompt were excluded from the count. Regarding task response, the essay addresses the task only minimally and tangentially. While the introduction acknowledges both views, the development of ideas remains very limited and under-developed. The discussion shifts abruptly from scientific research and business to personal information and weaknesses, which deviates from the core academic prompt. Furthermore, the writer's own opinion is not clearly stated throughout the body paragraphs, resulting in a partial and disjointed response that lacks the necessary depth to properly discuss the two provided viewpoints.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The response displays some basic organization, but there is no clear overall progression from paragraph to paragraph. While basic cohesive devices are attempted, such as 'Overall', 'Moreover', and 'On the other hand', they are often mechanical and fail to guide the reader smoothly through a logical argument. Referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly with pronouns like 'this information' and 'these type of information', which create confusion about what is being referred to. Paragraphing is used to separate ideas, but the internal structure of the paragraphs is repetitive and lacks cohesive ties, hindering the overall flow of the text.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The lexical resource is limited and minimally adequate for the task. The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, relying frequently on general words like 'information', 'things', and 'business'. There are noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and word form, such as 'acdemic' (spelling), 'these type of information' (agreement error), and 'weekness' (spelling). Informal phrasing like 'harming you and your business' appears rather than academic language. These noticeable lexical errors and the restricted range cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the vocabulary from achieving a higher level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer demonstrates a very limited range of structures, relying primarily on simple sentences and basic complex forms that are often faulty. There are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('information would be shared, it can cause'), incorrect pluralization ('these type of information'), and inappropriate conditional structures ('if you would share... people can steal'). Punctuation is also problematic, with run-on sentences and missing commas around introductory phrases. These frequent grammatical errors cause strain and difficulty for the reader in understanding the intended meaning.
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