Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There are some peole who argue that a huge and sensitive data of several fields like scientific research, business and acedemic world should be openly shared. However there are also some people contradict this statement because they wonder that such kind of information is crutial and valuable.

In my opinion, I support the second statement. There are many reasons to give this opinion but let's discuss these factors along with my reasons.

Scientific research is a systematic and organized process of gathering, analyzing and interpreting the data that discovers the new facts, verify existing theories and solve real-world problems. Therefore, it contains some secret factors especially when the research is something about the defense system of a country. Sharing such kind of data with the people can fail the research.

Business is an organized entity that creates, buys or sells goods and services to satisfy the user requirements in exchange of the money or other value. Once you disclose your next step in business or reveal your formula of manufacturing a specific product, your rival party will misuse this information against you. Consequently, it will be quite harmful for your business and profit.

Academic world includes all the procedures, systems and methods used to measure the educational ability of a candidate in any educational organization. There are several ways to take assesments from of students in different grades. Once they get any idea of what is going to be asked in an assesment, they will escape to prepare the whole sylabous and learn that specific question only. This will result in producing an ineligible nation. This is why such kind of information should not be shared.

To conclude, it is to be said that no matter what kind of field it is, some informations are extremly sensitive and need to be hidden from people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you support keeping some information private, and the examples about defence research, business formulas and assessment questions are relevant to the topic. However, the discussion is unbalanced because the view in favour of sharing information is introduced but not explained with reasons or examples. The body paragraphs mainly define each field before arguing for secrecy, so the response does not fully develop both sides of the question. Some claims also need clearer support—for example, explain how sharing research could undermine a project, rather than simply saying it “can fail the research.” To strengthen the response, give the sharing side its own developed argument, then compare it with your position and support each point with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs on research, business and education, and a conclusion. This makes the main position and the examples easy to locate. Linking expressions such as “However,” “Consequently” and “To conclude” help signal relationships between ideas. At times, though, the progression is mechanical: each body paragraph defines a field and then gives a similar warning about disclosure, rather than developing a balanced discussion of both views. The introduction also promises to discuss “these factors” without clearly previewing the two sides. Improve cohesion by organising the body around the opposing arguments, using clear topic sentences and linking each example directly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “systematic,” “interpreting,” “defense system,” “manufacturing” and “educational ability.” These choices show an effort to discuss several contexts precisely. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes the meaning less clear. For instance, “a huge and sensitive data” is not a natural phrase, “contradict this statement” does not fit the intended meaning, and “escape to prepare” is unclear. Spelling errors such as “peole,” “acedemic,” “crutial” and “sylabous” are also noticeable. Build accuracy by learning common collocations for this topic and checking spelling and word forms; prefer direct, natural phrasing over lengthy definitions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and more extended sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “Once you disclose your next step … your rival party will misuse this information” and a relative clause beginning “that creates, buys or sells.” These attempts help explain cause and effect. However, control is uneven, particularly in longer sentences, and errors in articles, agreement, plurals and sentence construction recur. For example, “a huge and sensitive data” has an article and noun-form problem, while “some informations are” uses an uncountable noun as a plural. The phrase “There are several ways to take assesments from of students” also has a faulty construction. Practise building shorter, accurate sentences first, then combine ideas with subordinate clauses and check agreement and article use.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.