Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Some people share as much information as possible in research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information are valuable to shared freely. I believe that some information are important to be shared freely with everyone.

On the one hand, many people believe that it is good to share ipersonal information freely with others. Some individuals share their personal information in professional fields because they believe it is safe to share personal data in business and the academic world. Many banks in India asked for personal information and some individuals gave their personal details freely because they believe it is very safe to their personal information with professional workers. For example, Some people share to information with bank employees believing that it is safe to shre personal information without verifying the employe and give their personal details, credit card number and phone number.As a result, some people believe that is safe to share information as much as possible.

On the other hand, others believe that it is very risky too share our personal information with others because they can misuse our personal data. Hacker can hack an individual's personal smartphones and laptops to black-mail them and some people can take advantages to use personal information for their benefits. For example, Some hacker can hack computer systems if an individual share as much as information as possible freely, it can become measure threat for him and some hacker can transfer money from their banks. As a result, Some people avoid toshare their personal and valuable

information freely.

In conclusion, sharing too much information with others can be harmful for an individuals because hacker can misuse the information and transfer money and personal data from smartphones and laptops. Therefore, some people try to avoid sharing too much information with others freely.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response recognises the topic and gives a clear preference for sharing information, while the two body paragraphs attempt to present opposing views. However, it addresses the task only partially: the discussion is almost entirely about personal and financial data, rather than information in scientific research, business, and academia. The first view is also misrepresented as sharing personal information because it is safe, and the essay does not explain the benefits of open research or academic knowledge. The opposing view is more relevant, with examples of hacking and financial misuse, but these examples are repeated rather than developed. To strengthen the response, discuss both views in the contexts named in the prompt and support your opinion with a reasoned example. The length requirement is met; 19 words copied from the prompt were excluded from the count.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signposted by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. This helps the reader identify the intended contrast. However, progression within the paragraphs is limited, and ideas are often repeated: the risks of sharing personal information and hackers transferring money appear several times without adding a new point. Linking phrases such as “For example” and “As a result” are used, but the cause-and-effect links are sometimes unclear or repetitive. The conclusion mainly restates the second body paragraph and does not return clearly to the stated preference for sharing. Develop each paragraph around one distinct reason and use clearer references to connect examples to the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the general topic, with relevant terms such as “personal information,” “professional fields,” “credit card number,” and “misuse.” However, the range is limited and repetitive, especially through repeated use of “share,” “personal information,” and “some people.” Several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, including “share to information,” “safe to their personal information,” and “take advantages.” Spelling errors such as “shre,” “employe,” and “black-mail” also reduce accuracy. These issues do not prevent the main message from being understood, but they make parts less clear and natural. Build a wider set of topic-specific terms, such as “research findings,” “intellectual property,” and “data privacy,” and check spelling and common word combinations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response uses mostly simple sentence patterns, with some attempts to connect clauses using “because,” “if,” and “as a result.” This provides basic variety, but complex sentences are often faulty and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. Examples include “some information are valuable to shared freely,” “Hacker can hack,” and “if an individual share,” where agreement, verb forms, or sentence construction are inaccurate. There are also problems with articles and plurals, as in “for an individuals,” and punctuation is inconsistent, particularly where sentences run together after “phone number.” Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and verb patterns, then use shorter, correctly punctuated sentences before adding more complex clauses.

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