Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

As far as this topic is concerned, I would like to say that of sharing information in scientific research, business and the academic world has always been debatable and know become more controversial with many people by claiming that is beneficial while other reject this notion. The substaintial influence of this trend has sparked the controversy over the whether information should be shared freely or kept confidential. From my prespective, the former proposition appears to be more rational. This eassy will further elaborate my views for favoring positive or nagetive impact of sharing information and thus will lead to be logical conclusion.

Analyzing the statement further, the primery reasons behind this is that the issue is that sharing information helps people gain knowledge and develop new ideas. Categorically discussing, it cannot be ignored the main reason behind this is that the especially in our country, it has far reaching consequences in society. It helps students improve their education, scientists discover new treatments and businesses develop better products.

Moving further, it is pertinent to mention that it is the basic duty of the government to provide a safe and stable society for the betterment of the public. It is imperative for the authorities concerned to look into the factor behind this issue and take a drastic action against the concerned persons.

To encapsulate, I would like to appeal to the learned figures to come forward, focus their gaze at this issue and launch a vigorous campaign to reform it across the society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You state a preference for sharing information, saying that “the former proposition appears to be more rational,” and you give relevant benefits such as helping students, scientists and businesses. However, the response does not adequately discuss the opposing view that some information may be too valuable or sensitive to share, and your own position is not supported with developed reasons or examples. The later paragraphs about government duties, taking action and launching a campaign do not clearly address the question, so the response becomes largely tangential. The conclusion also does not summarise a reasoned comparison of the two views. The response is 243 words, seven words below the required minimum; use the available space to explain both sides and support your opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic paragraph structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and some signposting such as “Analyzing the statement further” and “To encapsulate.” However, the ideas do not progress logically from the topic: the second body paragraph shifts to government responsibility and action against “concerned persons,” without a clear link to sharing research or business information. The introduction also promises to discuss positive and negative impacts, but the body does not fulfil that plan. Several linking phrases are formulaic or repetitive, and references such as “this issue” are unclear. To improve, organise the essay around one paragraph for each view, then connect both to a clearly stated opinion and conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of formal and topic-related vocabulary, including “confidential,” “far-reaching consequences,” “develop better products” and “pertinent to mention.” This shows some ambition beyond basic wording. However, several choices and spelling errors reduce precision: “substaintial,” “prespective,” “eassy,” “primery” and “nagetive” are misspelled, while phrases such as “learned figures” and “focus their gaze at this issue” sound unnatural in this context. Some wording is also vague, particularly “the former proposition” and repeated references to “this issue.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and specific terms such as intellectual property, commercial confidentiality and open access. Proofreading spelling and replacing ornate but unclear phrases would make your meaning more reliable.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both longer sentences and simpler statements, and some sentences communicate their main point clearly, for example, “It helps students improve their education, scientists discover new treatments and businesses develop better products.” However, complex sentence attempts are often faulty. The opening has an incomplete construction in “I would like to say that of sharing information,” and “know become more controversial” lacks a correctly formed verb phrase. There are also problems with sentence structure and articles in “it cannot be ignored the main reason” and “the issue is that sharing information helps…” The final sentence is long and difficult to follow because several commands are joined together. Practise building clear subject–verb sentences first, then add subordinate clauses, checking agreement, articles and punctuation.

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