Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The idea that wether sharing maximum data regarding scientific researches, businesses and academic world is beneficial has been a topic of debate for a long time. The supporters of this opinion believe that public should beket informed about everything while others argue that sensitve information should not be shared openly as it might give rise to various sort of inconvinence. Although I partly agree that public should be kept aware , I believe that uploading too valuable information can cause harm.

It is true that the masses should not be kept in dark about the new discoveries made by science or any new research involving business or education system as it keeps people educated and awared about the things happening in the world. The availablity of information online can give people access to various sort of oppertunities. For instance, a scientific research was conducted which showed how loud noises effect babies negatively. The access to this discovery helped parents in parenting their children in much positive way.

However, revealing too important data can give rise to various problems. One of the important aspect is the wrong use of available data. For instance, as scientists stidied human behaviour, the concluded diffrent tactics of manupilation used by people. Although it helped peple to avoid these tricks, it feed the negative influences of the society with more important and effective data.

Such people use provided data for harming others.

On the other hand, the enclosure of data involving threats to life can cause anxiety and fear among people which can lead to other issues. This information is often twisted and exagerated by social media making it appear more intimidating, resulting in more chaos.

In conclusion, i would say that people should be informed about things that can affect them positively however sensitive data should not be shared as it can lead to severe consequences.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the discussion and state a clear, qualified position: the public should learn about beneficial developments, while sensitive information should not be shared. The examples about research on noise and babies, and information that could enable manipulation, are relevant and help explain your reasoning. However, the two arguments are not developed equally. The benefits of sharing are mainly explained through one example, while the risks are split between misuse and anxiety without fully clarifying what kinds of information should be restricted or why. The point about social media exaggerating threats is relevant but could be linked more explicitly to the question of free access. Develop each main idea with a clearer explanation and a specific supporting example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, discussion of benefits, discussion of risks, and a conclusion that restates your position. Paragraphing generally helps the reader follow the two sides, and transitions such as “However” and “In conclusion” signal changes in direction. At times, though, progression is less clear. “On the other hand” introduces another risk rather than a contrasting viewpoint, so a phrase such as “A further concern is…” would be more accurate. The link between the social-media point and the preceding argument could also be clearer. Some references, including “Such people” and “This information,” are broad, making it harder to identify exactly what they refer to. Use more precise links and topic sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic-related vocabulary, including “sensitive information,” “discoveries,” “manipulation,” and “consequences,” which allows you to discuss both benefits and risks. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “give rise to” and “conducted.” However, spelling errors and inaccurate word choices are noticeable and sometimes distract the reader: examples include “wether,” “sensitve,” “inconvinence,” and “exagerated.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “various sort of opportunities” and “kept in dark.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise terms for the types of information being discussed would also make the argument clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “Although” and “which,” and most of the meaning remains understandable. Some sentence structures are controlled, such as the explanation that access to research helped parents. However, errors in agreement, articles, and sentence construction recur. For example, “One of the important aspect” needs a plural noun, and “the concluded” has an incorrect subject structure. In “a scientific research was conducted which showed,” the relative clause would be clearer with more careful punctuation or restructuring. Capitalisation is also inconsistent, particularly “i” in the conclusion. Review subject–verb relationships, article use, and punctuation, then proofread each sentence for a complete and grammatically consistent structure.

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