Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The level of information to be provided for a scientific research, business and the academic sector has been a debatable topic. Some people believe that more the information shared, more better the results we get. While others suggest that high privilage information should not be shared. We will consider the views of people seperately for each situation and evaluate wether sharing the information is important or concealing important information.

For a scientific research, as much the information we get, the more precise and accurate research a person can make. Its a field that requires extensive knowledge which is then processed and evaluated for a better outcome. Whereas in certain scenarios where government or military level researches are taken place, we may consider the view of the latter people that not all information is to be shared more beneficial.

Talking about business, sharing all relevant information is again important as they allow businesses to make better decisions. Businesses view past financial data, market trends and customer reviews to prepare for the future and increase profits. While revealing sensitive business information can be a threat to the business if it falls in the hands of wrong people. So, i must say that all information should be provided to businesses for planning whereas businesses must not reveal the important information that can harm their work.

Lastly, for the academic sector, providing all information is not necessarily important whereas the information that is highly valubale can be shared for better understanding of the topic.

We have seen that either sharing all information or hiding high priority information can vary from stiuation to situation. Whereas sharing high relevant information is considered a risk for businesses and scientific researches related to military projects while on the other hand can be beneficial for education perposes.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views by discussing information-sharing in research, business and education, and you recognise that sensitive material may need protection. However, the discussion is uneven and the response only partly fulfils the task: the academic-world view is brief, and the conclusion does not clearly state your own overall opinion. For example, you say that valuable academic information “can be shared,” but do not explain when or why it should be restricted. The research and business examples are relevant, particularly military research and confidential financial information, but several claims remain general. To strengthen the response, state a consistent position in the introduction and conclusion, then develop each view with a specific explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs on research, business and academia, and a concluding paragraph. This makes the main areas easy to identify. However, progression between ideas is sometimes unclear, and linking expressions are often mechanical or inaccurate. “Whereas” begins sentences that do not form a clear contrast, while “Lastly” introduces a very short paragraph that is not developed. The conclusion also repeats the contrast without resolving it or clearly connecting it to your opinion. Improve cohesion by organising the body around the two competing views, using clear topic sentences and linking each example to the point it supports. Make references such as “the latter people” explicit so readers can follow the argument without guessing.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “market trends,” “customer reviews,” “sensitive business information” and “military level researches.” These choices show an attempt to discuss the subject beyond basic everyday language. However, the range is limited and several word choices, collocations and spelling errors make the expression awkward, such as “high privilage information,” “more better,” “highly valubale” and “education perposes.” Some phrases are also imprecise: “all information should be provided to businesses” does not clearly distinguish information businesses need from information they should disclose. Build a more precise vocabulary for confidentiality and access, and check spelling and collocations. For example, distinguish “sharing data with researchers” from “disclosing confidential information to the public.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple sentences and longer structures, including conditional phrasing such as “if it falls in the hands of wrong people” and contrastive clauses. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence formation, articles, agreement and punctuation sometimes make the meaning less clear. Examples include “For a scientific research,” “Its a field,” and the fragment beginning “While revealing sensitive business information…” The opening also uses an incomplete comparative construction: “more the information shared, more better the results we get.” Practise forming complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and check articles and agreement. You can retain complex structures, but make sure each contrast clause is attached to a complete main clause and that punctuation clearly separates ideas.

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