Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's modern world, an increasing number of people argue that it is better to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business, and the acadamic world. While the opposition hold a different view that sharing some data is crucial or too valuable to shared it entirely free. This essay will discuss both perspectives before explaining why I believe a balanced approach is the most beneficial.

On the one hand, a growing number of people believe that data should be available for every professional to carry out a acadamic scientific research or projects. To elaborate further, basically they think that most of universities and colleges students required a large amount of data to conduct a scientific research upon some sophisticated areas like data science, botany, or mathematics which need a vast number of data to carry out a research. Moreover, sharing as much as possible information for business purposes can allows entrepreneurs to make inform decision and to improve their services quality as well as quanitiy. For instance, traders can take culculated risk and make inform decision when a huge amount of trading information avaiable. As result, they get more revenue which are beneficial for both businessmen and for government in form of tax.

On the other hand, critics believe that sharing such kinds of information completely free can be prohibited because some data are more important for an organization or government. Likewise, some information are very crutial to be share in the public and often create persoanl or professional problems. To cite an example, information about customer are play a very vital role for an firm to find out the clients behaviour and future plans by showcasing relevate ads or videos like Facebook or instagram. Furthermore, some information are very valuable for a business like customer personal information, which they cannot want to share it for scientific research or business because it is illegle and prohibited by in international level. Therefore, the information should be not send for any kinds of personal or business purpose to avoid crimes and culture norms related difficultes in this digital world.

In conclusion, some individuals thinks that providing inofrmation for research and projects are good idea because to solve real world problems cyber crims and to improve business sales. Whereas critics believe that sharing these information freely can create obstacles because it is very valuable, like disclosing personal information of customer. From my point of view a balanced approach is very beneficial by shareing some information which is not confidential for researchers and project managers to solve real world problems but not entirely free but charging some minimal amount of money.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.5
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the discussion and state a clear position: a balanced approach, with non-confidential information shared while sensitive material is protected. The examples about research data, business decisions and customer information are relevant to the topic. However, some points are not fully explained or are unclear. For example, the claim that sharing trading information increases revenue and benefits governments through tax needs a clearer link to the question of whether information should be freely available. The discussion of customer data also shifts between privacy, advertising and legal restrictions without distinguishing these issues. Develop each side with a specific explanation and example, then make your final position more precise about what should be shared and under what conditions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” makes the progression easy to follow. This meets the lower-band expectations securely, and the paragraphing and overall sequence show some features of stronger organisation. However, connections within paragraphs are sometimes mechanical or unclear. For instance, “As result” does not clearly show how the preceding point leads to the claimed benefits, while “Likewise” introduces a point that is not quite parallel to the previous one. Some references, such as “these information,” are also unclear. Use more precise links and ensure each sentence develops the paragraph’s main idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “scientific research,” “entrepreneurs,” “confidential,” and “customer personal information,” and you attempt some less common expressions. However, the range is limited by repeated general words such as “information,” “important,” and “valuable,” and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make meaning less clear. Examples include “make inform decision,” “take culculated risk,” and “information … are very crutial to be share.” Spelling errors such as “acadamic,” “quanitiy,” and “illegle” are also noticeable. Build a more precise vocabulary for data sharing, privacy and commercial knowledge, and check spelling and word forms carefully so your ideas are expressed more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “while,” “because” and “which,” and the overall meaning is generally recoverable. However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors in agreement, articles, verb forms and sentence construction recur. For example, “most of universities and colleges students required” needs a clearer noun phrase and a correctly formed verb; “sharing … can allows” has an incorrect verb form; and “some information are” has a subject–verb agreement problem. The final sentence, “by shareing some information … but not entirely free,” is also difficult to follow grammatically. Practise building accurate clauses first, then combine them, paying particular attention to singular and uncountable nouns and verb patterns.

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