Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Many people thought that it is better to spread information as much,like that in scientific research,and in the buisness world and the whole acedmic world. On the one hand,some people thought that these information is too important and never to share anyone. These informations worths a lot of money.There's no meaning to share this information freely.

In this paragraph,shows that some stupid peoples are sharing information friendly and announced to the whole biological and acedmic world who worths millions. On the other hand some wise person's who said that it is not fair to sharing information like this. Some things are meant to be hidden. These information are to keep in privacy and siliently hold it. And never keep sharing it in whole world. This cause changing the people thoughts and harm for many people's. These information is harm like that leaking some personal ideas and announced into the whole world . This is crime to theft some ideas and leaked them or harm those person who worked on it day and night.Those people blast the hardworking man.

In my opinion,sharing the information as possible in scientific research center,in the business antilia and the whole world is not good and safe. These information is not for free and not to distribute it.It is someone's effort and hardworking. It is not good to destroy someone dreams who worths a lot of money.We need to save some people information .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a clear opinion in the final paragraph: sharing information freely is “not good and safe,” and you refer to protecting people’s effort and ideas. You also mention both views, including the value of information and the risk of ideas being leaked. However, the discussion is only minimally developed: the first view is not explained clearly, and the opposing view is presented mainly as a claim that sharing is unfair or harmful, without a relevant example or balanced reasoning. The description of people who share as “stupid” also weakens the discussion rather than supporting it. The response is 12 words below the required minimum, which further limits the opportunity to develop both sides. Explain each view with a specific example and make your position more reasoned.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response into paragraphs and to signal contrast with “On the one hand” and “On the other hand.” The final paragraph also makes your own position identifiable. However, the ideas are not arranged coherently enough: the opening introduces both views in a confusing way, and the second paragraph shifts between privacy, financial value, harm, and theft without a clear progression. Several sentences repeat the idea that information should not be shared, while references such as “these information” do not make the intended meaning clear. Build one paragraph around each view, connect each reason to an explanation or example, and use linking phrases only where they accurately show the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “scientific research,” “business,” “privacy,” “leaking,” and “hardworking,” so the reader can recognise the general subject. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and several word choices or forms make meaning difficult to follow. For example, “share information friendly” does not express the intended idea, while “business antilia” is unclear. Repeated use of “information” and “harm” also limits precision. Spelling errors such as “buisness,” “acedmic,” and “siliently” further reduce accuracy. Aim for precise phrases such as “share findings openly,” “commercially sensitive information,” and “protect intellectual property,” and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response includes mostly simple statements and attempts a few longer structures, such as “This is crime to theft some ideas and leaked them,” but control is limited and errors occur frequently. Examples include “Many people thought” where the present-tense generalisation needs a present form, “these information is” where the noun requires different agreement, and “it is not fair to sharing,” which uses an incorrect verb pattern. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “In this paragraph,shows that…” and the run-on sequence beginning “day and night.Those people…”. These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add controlled clauses using patterns such as “Some people argue that…” and “This is because…”.

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