Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, sharing information has become an important part of scientific research, business and academic world. While some individuals admire that it can be shared openly, others argue that certain knowledge is too valuable to be avaiblabe to everyone. This essay will discuss both these views, but i believe that information should be generally shared, although some details need protection.

On the one hand, sharing information can bring many benefits to society. When scientist shared there research, other researchers can use this finding to develop new medicine and solve serious problems. For example, sharing information can help researchers to detect early symptoms of deadily virus such as plague, corona and ebola which help them to start their treatments for dangerous disease. SImilarly, pupils can achieve higher grades by accesing educational materials and learnning from world expert teachers. In business, sharing useful ideas can encouage cooperation lead to new innovatons and more stronger relationship with international clients.

On the other hand, Individuals believe that some insights should remain private because it may have significant financial or security risk. For instance, companies spend a large amount of money on products, so sharing their business secret with competitiors could financial loose. Likewise, scientist develop new equipments for military such as rockets, atomic blueprint and submarine, If this findings leak it will be a huge impact on nation becuase a country is mainly depend on their forces.

In conclusion, although, proctecting valuable information is necessary for some cirsumstances. For my perespective, sharing insights help researcher to aware poeple about unconditional disease.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the discussion and give a position: information should generally be shared, while some details need protection. The examples about medical research, education, business secrets and military technology are relevant and help explain the competing views. However, your final opinion is not fully consistent or developed: the conclusion says sharing helps researchers inform people about disease, but does not clearly restate why some information should be protected or explain how to balance the two. Some supporting points also need clearer explanation, particularly the claim that sharing business ideas leads to stronger international relationships. Develop this reasoning and make your position explicit throughout the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion. The signposts “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the main stages easy to follow. Within paragraphs, examples generally follow the point they support. However, some links between ideas are mechanical, and a few sentences combine claims without showing their relationship clearly—for example, the business sentence moves from cooperation to innovation and client relationships without explaining the steps between them. The conclusion also begins with “although” but does not complete a contrasting clause, which weakens the ending. Use clearer links between claims and examples, and ensure each paragraph develops one connected line of reasoning.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “scientific research,” “business secret,” “competitors,” “military,” and “security risk,” and you attempt more specific terms such as “international clients.” However, spelling errors and inaccurate word choices are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause: “avaiblabe,” “deadily,” “financial loose,” and “unconditional disease” do not express the intended meanings clearly. Some collocations are also unnatural, such as “admire that it can be shared openly” and “more stronger relationship.” Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than adding ambitious terms. Proofread spelling carefully and check whether each word fits its context; for example, “financial loss” and “infectious disease” would communicate your ideas more precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in the introduction and conditional structures such as “If this findings leak…”. Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity. For example, “When scientist shared there research” has problems with number, tense and pronoun form, while “a country is mainly depend” uses an incorrect verb construction. The conditional sentence also needs agreement and clearer punctuation: “If this finding leaks, it will have a huge impact…” would be more controlled. The conclusion’s opening “although” clause is incomplete. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, verb forms and complete clause structures, while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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