Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

A large number of individuals argue that it is good share much information in scientific research business and the academic world, while others think that litle information should be kept shared freely. In my opinion, sharing data can improve scientific and trade sectors, and develop education, gaining lots of information.

On one hand, sharing excessive information may develop people knowledge. If scientific research can portion lots of information in the world, may people gain too much information. For example, In hospital sectors, scientist discovers digital equipment for identifying different diseases. Many citizens have not enough knowledge about this sectors and how can use this tools. So, if they share this data doctors and general citizens may know and gain experience knowledge. As a result, world people can recognige unknown equipment. In addition, when teachers teaches their students they should share spare of information about country or others. as students can know and gain idea.

Furthermore, excessive sharing information may beneficial every people, but some data do not share in public, sometime sharing lots of data may harmful for their. For example, a business man may allocate large amount of money in his business sectors, if he share privecy information with others, he may not benefits from the trades. As a result, lots of data should not portion with every one it can dangerous his business sectors.

In conclusion, sharing information can improve education and scientific development, while keeping certain information private can protect businesses and individuals. I believe that information should be shared responsibly, with proper protection for sensitive details.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the discussion and give a clear final position: information should be shared responsibly while sensitive details remain protected. The examples about medical research and business privacy are relevant, and the conclusion reflects the question. However, the discussion is only partially developed. The medical example focuses on sharing knowledge with doctors and citizens but does not explain the wider benefits or limits of openness; the business example mainly asserts that a company could lose out without showing how valuable information should be protected. Your opening also describes the opposing view as “little information should be kept shared freely,” which makes that position unclear. Explain each side more precisely and support it with a specific consequence or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph for the benefits of sharing, a paragraph on keeping information private, and a conclusion. Linking phrases such as “On one hand,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow. In the first body paragraph, the move from medical equipment to what teachers should share is abrupt, and “as students can know and gain idea” does not clearly connect to the preceding sentence. Some references, such as “this data” and “their,” are also unclear, while “excessive” is repeated in ways that do not always fit the intended meaning. Group related points and make each sentence’s connection to the main idea explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “scientific research,” “digital equipment,” “diseases,” “business sectors,” and “sensitive details,” so the reader can identify the subject of the essay. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems make parts of the argument difficult to understand. Examples include “portion lots of information,” “spare of information,” “privecy information,” and “recognige unknown equipment.” “Excessive information” also suggests an undesirable amount, although you often mean information that is widely shared. Aim for accurate, natural combinations such as “share research findings,” “a wealth of information,” and “confidential business information.” Check spelling and choose words that express your intended meaning precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if they share this data” and a concluding contrast between sharing and protecting information. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence construction and agreement sometimes make meaning hard to follow. For example, “If scientific research can portion lots of information in the world, may people gain too much information” lacks a clear main clause structure, while “when teachers teaches” has subject–verb disagreement. Other examples include “how can use this tools” and “a business man … if he share,” where the verb forms and sentence patterns need correction. Practise building complete clauses, checking singular and plural subjects, and using articles and punctuation consistently.

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