Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's modern world, information plays a very important role in scientific research, business and research.While some people believe that information should be shared as widely as possible, others argue that certain information is too valuable to be made available to everyone.Sharing personal information with an unknown person could be very dangerous for us.

In my opinion, general information should be shared,although senstive data should be protected.On one hand, sharing information can be very helpful for others.For example, In school if you know about any topic and your class fellow is quiet confused you will help him in understanding that topic.You will give him information about that topic so it will help him alot to understand. in school, you share information about your lesson so it helps other alot.

On other hand, there are valid reasons why some information should not be shared freely.For example, if one company invest their time developing new ideas and products, if their compitators gain access to their data, they may copy their ideas and gain an unfair advantage.That's not fair.That's why some personal data should be kept secret.

In conclusion, although protecting senstive data is very important. I believe that sharing knowledge would be very beneficial for society.But not sharing personal data with them because it would be harmful for us.They may misuse it by using name of the user.We should only share general information like if someone says that where do you live, you should only say abot your city don't give them your full address.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and state a position: “general information should be shared, although sensitive data should be protected.” The company example gives a relevant reason for restricting access, while the school example illustrates the benefits of sharing. However, the discussion is only partially developed. The school example repeats the same point about helping classmates rather than explaining the wider value of sharing in science or academia, and the opening reference to personal information shifts attention from the task’s broader question. Your conclusion gives practical advice about sharing an address, but this narrows the argument to personal safety. Develop both sides with examples more directly connected to research, business, and academic knowledge, and explain your position consistently.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction to arguments for and against sharing, then a conclusion. “On one hand” and “On other hand” help signal the two perspectives. However, progression within paragraphs is limited: the school example repeats the idea that sharing helps classmates, and the conclusion introduces several new points about personal data and addresses rather than synthesising the discussion. Some links are also awkward or unclear, such as “although protecting sensitive data is very important. I believe…,” where the full stop breaks the contrast. Use each paragraph to develop one distinct point, connect examples explicitly to the topic, and make the conclusion summarise your established position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “scientific research,” “sensitive data,” “developing new ideas and products,” and “unfair advantage.” However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, particularly “information,” “topic,” and “share.” Some choices are inaccurate or informal, such as “quiet confused,” “alot,” and “That's not fair,” while spelling errors in “senstive” and “compitators” reduce accuracy. Aim for more precise terms suited to the topic, such as “collaborate,” “confidential information,” and “intellectual property.” Vary repeated wording and check spelling and collocations so your meaning is expressed more naturally and precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including the contrast in “although sensitive data should be protected” and the conditional example beginning “if one company invest their time…”. However, control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make sentences difficult to follow. For example, “if one company invest… if their competitors gain access…” creates an incomplete, tangled conditional, and “although protecting sensitive data is very important. I believe…” incorrectly separates the dependent clause from the main idea. There are also agreement and article errors, as in “one company invest” and “their competitors.” Work on complete sentence boundaries, conditional structures, and subject–verb agreement, then proofread punctuation and sentence openings.

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