Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argue that, sharing deep and secret information about scientific research, business and the academic world is beneficial, while others argue that some data is too important and valuable to be shared freely on the internet. This essay will discuss both the views.

On the one hand, sharing more information may leads to innovation and improve productivity and efficiency. In scientific terms, open access enables researchers from collaborating from different countries to introduce a new technology or a discovery. For instance, a pandemic COVID-19 disease, where scientist from all over the world gathered information, to introduce new vaccines to recover from the specific virus. In terms of business, sharing of ideas can stimulate competitors and improve leads. In academic world, individuals may learn about histories deeply, which may enhances creativity and contributes to a new discovery.

On the other hand, not all the informations should be shared to public. Some informations involves senstive data, which may get misused, if falls into wrong hand. For example, data related to military information, medical records and so on, these information should remain confidential, which will reduces the risk of any pandemic in the future. Business owners invest huge amount of money in promotions, or building marketing strategies to tackle their competitors. So, these data should not be leaked because it helps them to improve their sales, and in leads generation.

In my opinnion, information should generally be shared to encourage cooperation and progress, but data which includes sensitive information and property rights must be properly protected by the user.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both sides of the discussion and state a clear position: information should generally be shared, while sensitive data and intellectual property should be protected. The examples of international vaccine research, military information, medical records and business strategies are relevant and help explain the competing concerns. This meets the task well, though the two sides are not developed equally in depth. The benefits of sharing are listed across science, business and education, but the business and academic points receive little explanation. The claim that confidentiality can reduce the risk of a future pandemic is also not clearly connected to the examples given. To strengthen the response, explain the consequences of each example more fully and make the distinction between valuable commercial information and sensitive personal or security data more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a concluding opinion. The signposts “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” make the discussion easy to follow, and the final paragraph returns to your central position. This gives the response a coherent progression. However, some connections within paragraphs are less clear. For example, the sentence about military information and medical records moves to preventing a future pandemic without explaining the link, and “In terms of business” and “In academic world” introduce points that are not developed further. Some linking is also mechanical. Improve cohesion by grouping related examples, using clearer references, and adding brief explanations that show how each point supports the paragraph’s main idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic-related vocabulary, including “open access,” “innovation,” “productivity,” “sensitive data,” “confidential” and “marketing strategies.” These choices allow you to discuss both scientific collaboration and the protection of information. There are also attempts at more specific phrasing, such as “stimulate competitors” and “leads generation,” but these are not natural or precise in context. Spelling and word-form errors, including “senstive” and “opinnion,” reduce accuracy, while repeated use of “information” and “data” limits flexibility. Aim for more natural collocations and check spelling and plural forms. More precise terms for the benefits of sharing and the risks of disclosure would make your argument clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses beginning with “while,” “which” and “because,” and the overall meaning is generally understandable. However, some errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction remain. For example, “It is often argue” should use a passive form, and “sharing more information may leads” has an incorrect verb form after “may.” In “enables researchers from collaborating,” the verb pattern is faulty; “enables researchers to collaborate” would be correct. Agreement is also inconsistent in “these information should remain confidential, which will reduces.” Review modal verb patterns, subject–verb agreement and singular/plural forms, then proofread complex sentences to ensure that each clause is grammatically complete and clearly connected.

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