Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today’s rapidly changing world, many people believe that it might be beneficial to share as much information as possible on social media about scientific research, business and academic world. While some people argue that information is too valuable and vital that everything cannot be shared openly through mass media due to the matter of privacy and security. This essay will discuss both perspectives before opinion.

On the one hand, it might be beneficial to share information about scientific research, business and academic world through mass media this is because it will help the people to become aware about the latest ongoing facts and news about different field. It will help the future generation to get insight of the new information and knowledge regarding variant fields. As a result schools and college will keep updating their knowledge and information about various topic. For instance, schools and colleges will update their textbooks and reading material accordingly.

On the other hand, sharing each piece of information through mass media might affect security of an individual and could also false lead with the wrong information. This is because every database of research, business and academic world has certain legal limitation to share among various people, we cannot simply tell all the valuable data about the field through social media. For instance, we cannot reveal the identity of individuals participating in research it must be confidential, whereas we cannot print academic data in the articles without approval of higher authority.

In conclusion, although sharing vast information about research, business and academic world might be beneficial for major individuals. I believe having a certain privacy and confidentiality is necessary so as to reduce scams and mislead of the database.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and give a clear preference for privacy and confidentiality in the conclusion. The examples about protecting research participants’ identities and requiring approval before publishing academic data are relevant to the concern that some information should not be shared freely. However, the benefits side is less fully explained: claims that sharing helps people stay informed and schools update materials are broad, and the link between sharing information and these outcomes could be made clearer. The opening also says the essay will discuss both perspectives “before opinion,” but your own position is not established until the conclusion. Develop each side with a specific explanation or example, and state your view more directly in the introduction.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” makes the main stages easy to follow. Within paragraphs, however, connections are sometimes mechanical or unclear. For example, “This is because” introduces explanations repeatedly, while the sentence beginning “sharing each piece of information” joins several ideas without a clear relationship. The conclusion also repeats the topic rather than drawing together the main reasoning. Use a wider range of linking methods, make cause-and-effect relationships explicit, and ensure each sentence develops the paragraph’s central point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “scientific research,” “security,” “legal limitation,” and “confidential,” so the reader can understand the subject and your main concerns. There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “identity of individuals participating in research.” However, several inaccurate or unnatural choices reduce precision: “aware about,” “variant fields,” “false lead,” and “mislead of the database” do not express the intended meanings naturally. Repetition of “information,” “share,” and “world” also limits the range. Aim for accurate collocations and more precise terms—for example, describe information as being “disseminated,” and refer to “misleading information” or “data misuse” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “while,” “because,” and “whereas.” The overall meaning is generally understandable, but some sentence structures are incomplete or awkwardly joined. The opening sentence beginning “While some people argue…” is a fragment, and “this is because” in the first body paragraph is not separated clearly from the preceding clause. There are also errors in articles, agreement, and sentence construction, as in “academic world” and “schools and college will keep updating.” These issues sometimes make the reader pause, although the main ideas remain recoverable. Practise building complete sentences and checking that each clause has a clear subject and verb, alongside article and plural agreement.

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