Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, a number of individuals think that it is beneficial to share a large amount of data in scientific analysis, business and academic worls, whereas others disagree and believe that piece of information is more crucial to be shared openly. I would agree with the former viewpoin because it will foster the development at medical sectors.

To begin with, fostering rapid development in the medical sectors are the main reason why people support that we need to share much data as possible in scientific research, business and academic world. I firmly support this idea because if we share big amount of data to doctors and scientist; they will analyse it and find out the exact trend and finally they will be able to invent an accurate vaccin which will save millions of people lives. Moreover, the scientist who want to invent the medical equipment such as X-ray and ECG machines, initially they need proper data from patients and if sick people provide enough information to scientists will helpful to invent rapidly at those equipmets.

On the other hand, others argue in the favor of some information is so much important to be shared freely because it will occuring threft. Sometimes a piece of scientific data is more valuable than gold. When someone invent any instrument, which is not avilable in their gloves and if he share any important information to thers people will causing threft; because the people who get the dat will made the new replica and made a pattent by his name. However, I disagree with the argument above because strong security will overcome threft.

In conclusion, although openly sharing scientific data cause threft, I strongly believe that sharing large amount of information fostering the invention of several medical tools.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the discussion and state a clear preference for sharing information, linking it to medical progress. The examples of doctors analysing data and researchers developing X-ray or ECG equipment are relevant and help explain your position. You also present the opposing concern about theft and patenting, then respond that security can reduce this risk. However, the two sides are not developed equally: the benefits are explained in more detail, while the risks are asserted rather than explored, and the claim that security will overcome theft needs support or qualification. To strengthen the response, explain what kinds of information might reasonably remain private and why, then weigh that against the public benefits before concluding.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” makes the direction of the argument easy to follow. Within paragraphs, however, some links are mechanical, and the long sentences sometimes combine several steps without clear boundaries. For example, the sentence beginning “I firmly support this idea because if we share…” moves from sharing data to analysis, invention, and lives saved in one chain. The reference in “the argument above” is also vague. Use clearer sentence breaks and more precise links between claims and examples, and make each paragraph’s progression explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt vocabulary suited to the topic, including “scientific research,” “medical equipment,” “accurate vaccine,” and “patent,” and the main ideas remain understandable. There is also some repetition of broad terms such as “data,” “information,” and “important,” which limits precision. Several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors weaken control: “big amount of data,” “medical sectors,” “threft,” “avilable,” and “equipmets” are examples. Some expressions, such as “invent a patent,” do not convey the intended meaning naturally. Build a more accurate set of topic-specific phrases and check spelling; this would let you express the contrast between open research and commercially sensitive information more precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “if we share… they will analyse it” and a concession in the conclusion. However, control is uneven, particularly in longer sentences. Examples include the agreement error “fostering rapid development… are the main reason,” the incomplete construction “if sick people provide enough information to scientists will helpful,” and the faulty clause “because it will occuring.” Articles and plural forms also need attention, as in “a large amount of data” versus “big amount of data” and “people lives.” Break complex ideas into manageable clauses, check subject–verb agreement, and ensure each conditional has a complete main clause. More accurate sentence patterns would make your reasoning easier to follow.

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