Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In the world full of introvert people it is seen that it is valuable to share the scientific data as much as possible as it helps in redevloping the world filled with high amount of business growth and helps in economic involvement. This essay will discuss both views and opinion on how valuable and benificial is it to recieve information for the growth of economic devlopement and in terms of scientific and business reason.

Firstly, By sharing information to one other they are helping goverment priortizing growth and stopping inflation Due to global problems and world full with over population ,the growth is a major impliment that helps to make a pillar and make a chain that supports it to make a huge and wide nation as because of over population it is getting harder for the goverment to decide the action which are needed for it. However, if people start sharing the information and valuable things which are needed for the country it will be benificial for the goverment to take action and resolve the problem as by sharing information to one another other citizen can also get the valuable data which is important to know by everyone as it casn help the country to build unity and love for everyone.

Secondly, In my opinion sharing information to one another can also make evryone feel loved and make feel good as by this people can talk to each other and can come out of the world of internet and social media and make them feel relax as by this they can share relevant information regarding the growth of scientific research and business growth for the acadamic growth and will also be benificial for their personal growth and also makes them feel united.

In the conclusion, By discussing both views and opinion we can see that by sharing important information and data to one another, it strongers the unity among each other bby making them feel united and loved and also helps in th scientic research and business growth for academic world.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response makes a general case for sharing information, especially by claiming it can help governments address national problems and support scientific and business growth. However, the task asks you to discuss both views and give your own opinion, and the opposing view—that some information is too valuable or sensitive to share freely—is not explained. Your position is also not clearly distinguished from the discussion: the introduction promises both views, but the essay mainly repeats benefits such as unity and feeling loved. Several points are only loosely connected to the question, and examples or explanations of how open research or protected business information works are missing. To strengthen the response, explain each side directly, then state and support your own position with relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic essay structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “Firstly” and “Secondly,” and a conclusion. These markers help the reader identify sections, but the ideas do not progress clearly from one paragraph to the next. The first body paragraph moves from government priorities and inflation to overpopulation, national unity, and citizens receiving data, without showing how these points connect. The second paragraph shifts to feeling loved and leaving social media, which is not clearly linked to the task’s debate about sharing valuable information. Repeated references to unity and growth also make the argument feel circular. Use each paragraph to develop one side of the debate, and connect claims with clear explanations rather than relying mainly on sequencing words.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some topic-related vocabulary, including “scientific research,” “business growth,” “valuable data,” and “economic development,” so the reader can identify the general subject. However, the range is limited and several expressions are repeated, particularly “sharing information,” “growth,” and “united.” Some word choices or collocations are unclear, such as “economic involvement,” “a major implement,” and “make a pillar,” which make parts of the argument difficult to interpret. Spelling errors are also noticeable, including “benificial,” “goverment,” and “acadamic.” Aim for more precise terms that distinguish open research from confidential or commercially sensitive information, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The essay attempts some longer sentences, often using clauses introduced by “as,” “which,” and “if,” but these structures are frequently difficult to control. For example, the opening sentence combines several ideas without a clear grammatical relationship, while the first body paragraph contains a long sentence beginning “Due to global problems” that lacks clear punctuation and becomes hard to follow. There are also recurring issues with sentence boundaries, articles, agreement, and verb forms, as in “it strongers the unity” and “make feel good.” Capitalisation after paragraph transitions is inconsistent, and commas are often missing or misplaced. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then combine related ideas with accurately formed subordinate clauses and punctuation.

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