Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Science plays a vital role in every nation. Some people claim that it is good to share more data in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others recommend that to secure their personal information and never share it normally. Everything has both positive and negative consequences. I believe it is beneficial to their data for economic growth.

To begin with, science connects the people through inventions such as smart phones, laptops, high speed vehicles, and aircrafts. Many people promote sharing information with scientific research because they recommended that it gives a lot of advantages such as more development in architecture of buildings, improve business due to new inventions, and advancement in educational department with the gadgets of science. Additionally, some people prefer to share data with authorities for security of their personal information, secure nation from terrorists, and overcome on up-coming international cyber attacks. China has a strict law on data sharing because their researchers declared that it is the only way to safe their state from every national and international attacks.

However, some people criticize information sharing because they claim that it can cause privacy spread, depression, and increasing the chances of leakage personal and important data. While it also impact on mental and physcial health due to freely access of private account to the governance. Information sharing can also effect the local culture and traditional languages. It disturb the environment by resources and mineral depletion, consume substaintial energy for research, and lost personal jobs and items.

Despite concerns about the share data for scientific research, its benefits outweigh the drawbacks. It has boosted the GDP, promote security, and created a million of jobs in aviation. Additionally, governments are investing a huge amount of budget on scientific investigations for protecting their country from national and international censure.

In conclusion, science connecting people worldwide, promote more opportunities for work, and increasing the security for protection of national economy. Though the environmental concern is exist, the overall impact is positive, as it promote economic and cultural development while attachment of people all over the world.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You present a clear overall view that sharing information is beneficial, and you include arguments both for and against it. However, the response only partially addresses the specific issue: the discussion shifts toward science, national security, environmental effects and employment, while the value of keeping business or academic information private is not clearly explained. Several claims, such as sharing data protecting personal information and the example about China, are difficult to follow or insufficiently supported. Develop each side with a direct explanation and a relevant example, then make your position consistent and explicit throughout. The conclusion repeats general benefits but does not resolve the central question about when information should or should not be shared.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for opposing views, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “To begin with,” “However,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven: the first body paragraph moves from inventions to education, security and China without clearly connecting these points to the question of sharing valuable information. Some linking is mechanical, and references such as “it” and “their” are not always clear. The final paragraph also introduces cultural development without establishing it earlier. Group related points, explain how each supports the paragraph’s main idea, and use clearer references to improve the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “scientific research,” “cyber attacks,” “GDP,” “environmental concern,” and “economic development,” which gives the response a relevant range. There are also attempts at less common expressions, but inaccurate word choice, collocation and spelling are noticeable and sometimes make meaning unclear. Examples include “privacy spread,” “overcome on up-coming,” “censure,” and “attachment of people.” Spelling errors such as “physcial” and “substaintial” also reduce precision. Aim for natural combinations and check word forms: for instance, describe risks as “privacy breaches” and say that sharing can “help address” cyber threats. More precise vocabulary would make your arguments easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast introduced by “While” and a concession beginning “Though the environmental concern is exist.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to interpret. For example, “it is beneficial to their data” lacks a clear grammatical relationship, while “It disturb the environment” has an agreement error. Other problems include “it also impact” and the incomplete construction “While it also impact on mental…” Practise building complete clauses and checking subject–verb agreement, verb forms and articles. Clearer sentence patterns will help you express the ideas without changing their intended meaning.

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