Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

There is a growing debate regarding whether, it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Some believe that sahring data, experinces and knowleged to the other help to start new thing in proffectional field. Whille some argue that too much sharing is not okay all the time with any one. I believe that sharing is important thing but some personal data never be shared publicaly at any palce.

proponent of the first view claims that it is okay that you share something publicly, when you share your experinces your knowlegede, people know about the circumstances before starting any thing. for example, Army shared their achievements publicly to build pressure on the other countries but they never shared the process aor any data socialy, this view point is supported by the argument that sharing is caring.

Conversly, those who advocate that sharing is a good thing, if it is related to educational filed or bussiness. In educational teacher much share their knowledged with students to teach properly and aslo give some ahtntic knwoledge to clear their ideas. similary when yoy in the lab you have no idea how to use and why use perform the experiment you teacher paly role here to tell you about the things.

While both the view have merit, but i personalyy prefere that sharing any offical or privte data is not a good thing. After considering both perspectives, it is evidence that sharing every thing socaily lead to b loss your achivemnets.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a personal view—that sharing is important, but private or official data should not be made public—and you attempt to discuss both sides. However, the discussion does not fully address the prompt: the first view is only briefly explained, while the second is presented mainly through teaching examples rather than a developed argument about valuable information being protected. The army example is also unclear and does not explain what information should be shared or why. Your conclusion repeats your position without supporting it. The response is 238 words, below the required 250; the 33 words copied from the prompt do not count. Develop each view with a clear reason and a relevant example, then explain your own position more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt at paragraphing, and phrases such as “for example,” “Conversly,” and “After considering both perspectives” signal examples and a conclusion. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the first body paragraph discusses public sharing, while the next begins “Conversly” but again argues that sharing is good. The relationship between ideas is therefore unclear, and the final paragraph introduces “official or private data” without connecting this distinction to the earlier examples. Some linking phrases are used mechanically or inaccurately, including “While both the view have merit, but.” Organise the essay into a clear introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion; use transitions that accurately show contrast and build each paragraph around one main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt topic-related vocabulary, including “scientific research,” “professional field,” “achievements,” and “perspectives,” and you try to express distinctions between public and private information. However, the range is limited and many spelling and word-choice errors make parts of the response difficult to understand, such as “sahring,” “experinces,” “knowleged,” and “publicaly.” Several combinations are unnatural or unclear, including “start new thing,” “authntic knowledge,” and “sharing every thing socially.” These errors fit a basic, repetitive vocabulary range and sometimes strain the reader. Build a reliable set of topic phrases and check spelling carefully; choose precise expressions such as “share research findings,” “protect confidential information,” and “advance professional practice.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, for example, “I believe that sharing is important…” and “After considering both perspectives, it is evidence that…”. Some basic sentence meanings can be understood, but control is inconsistent. Errors include the incorrect construction “it is good to share” after “whether,” “teacher much share,” “when yoy in the lab,” and “sharing every thing … lead to b loss.” Agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries are often inaccurate, and the opening contains an unnecessary comma after “whether.” These problems sometimes make relationships between ideas hard to follow. Practise accurate subject–verb patterns and complete clauses, then proofread each sentence for a clear subject, verb, and punctuation.

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