Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

some individuals argue that it is crucial to distribute as much data as possible in technology, research ,trade and the academic world,while others argue that some data is too vital to be distributed freely. for instance sharing important information freely cause less value to the message and irrelevant, so all information should not be free,this note will talk about reasons why some information should not be shared freely and how some can be acquired without any stress.

There are a lot of information which shouldn't be free of charge for instance, paying school free,student who has interest in any of the course should just work into the school and assume any class of his choice and learn,which means when he is tired of the course they can go because he never contributed anything but when they enroll into school properly,they will creat time to study,do assignment given tto them by the lecturer and during examination, read and prepare for the examination so as to pass,an apprentise who want to learn skills,need to make an arrangement with the head of the shop,this covers rules and regulation covering the work and when they apprentise default,they own of the business may chose to punish them,this will help the learner to sit up and learn and become expert in that field.

Furthermore,the government may subsides school fee to allow people who have interest in scholls to go and may scholarship maybe by non governmental organisation can help people to acquire the knowledge the want to be assisting individuals who have interest on those areas.

In conclusion,it is necessary to share information which help to build individuals but most of it shouldn't be free of charge so that people who acquire it will value it and government should help by subsiding the fee for those who may not have enough money for their tuition fees,and even some non governmental organisation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a clear preference for restricting access to some information, and your examples about school fees and apprenticeships show an attempt to explain why payment or formal arrangements may encourage commitment. However, the response only minimally addresses the actual debate: it does not explain the benefits of openly sharing scientific, business, or academic information, and it shifts largely to education costs and access to learning. The opening claim that free sharing can make information less valuable is asserted rather than supported, while the conclusion repeats the preference without resolving the two views. To develop the response, discuss both sides directly—for example, how open research can support innovation, and why businesses may protect commercially sensitive findings—then state and justify a balanced position with relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an identifiable opening, body paragraphs, and conclusion, and transitions such as “Furthermore” and “In conclusion” help signal stages of the argument. However, progression is difficult to follow because the main discussion moves from information-sharing to school fees and then apprenticeships without clearly linking these examples to the task’s scientific, business, and academic contexts. The first body paragraph is especially long and contains several ideas joined together, so relationships between claims are not always clear. Some linking is also mechanical, and the final paragraph repeats earlier points rather than drawing the discussion together. Use one paragraph for each view, keep each paragraph focused on a central claim, and use clear references to show how each example supports that claim.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “distribute,” “vital,” “scholarship,” and “acquire the knowledge,” and the reader can generally identify your intended meaning. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making the argument harder to understand. For example, “paying school free” appears to mean paying school fees, while “work into the school” and “sit up and learn” are not natural expressions in this context. There are also spelling errors such as “apprentise” and “scholls.” Build a more precise topic vocabulary around sharing and protecting information, and check common collocations and spelling. This will help you express the debate directly rather than relying on examples about fees.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and use subordinate clauses, for example, “when they enroll into school properly, they will creat time to study,” but complex structures are often faulty and make meaning difficult to follow. There are frequent problems with sentence boundaries, agreement, articles, and verb forms. In “There are a lot of information,” the uncountable noun requires a singular construction; “sharing important information freely cause” also has a subject–verb agreement error. The opening sentence runs several clauses together, and the final sentence is incomplete. Use shorter, controlled sentences first, then add complex clauses with accurate punctuation. Check singular and plural forms, verb agreement, and whether each sentence has a complete main clause.

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