Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many of people believe believe that sharing information as many as can in various sectors such as scientific research, business,business and the academic world where on another side some few people in a favour to keep information confidential. This Essay will debate over to opposite view alongs with my couplet opinion.

On the one hand, the former view sharing information is beneficial for society because it spreads awarness among the people related to a scientific research, business, and the academic world. If citizens have a proper knowledge about exactly what is happening in a country like new innovations, inventions and skills and many more, so people can use it in their best way to upgrade themselves. Academic world plays a cruical role in a students and teachers life. Any changes happened in academic world,Teaching professionals must be aware of it so they can stay update to date .

Furthermore, In science world scientists should examine new findings and new treatments for advancement which helps society in a great way. New technologies should be launched for development for example there are specific types of disease in a country which is not affordable by people, it costs extremely high so with the help of scientific reseach that treatment cost should be afforable so anybody can advantage of it without thinking twice, live long healthly life.

On the other hand, there is equal justification to vectus for prime, that various information should be kept confidential it is important and very precious it should not be disclosed at any cost to anyone. If it is leaked it may be into the wrong hands and misused by them. Confidential information requires protection, Disclosing may violate safey and privacy risk. Sensitive information should not be esaily accessible to public.

A relevance could be draw from yahoo in the year [redacted phone], many user filed a complaint aganist personal data breach through yahoo. About 3 billion people are caught into the trap of website cookies in other words it is known with the name data theft. It is happened from website history data.

In my opinon, Revelant information should be disclose with public so they can aware about the pros and cons but privacy is also very important and public safety is also mandatory.

In Conclusion, stands true in their virtue with equal validation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both perspectives and give a personal view, so the response is relevant to the task. The benefits of sharing are linked to public awareness, education and access to treatments, while the opposing view raises misuse, privacy and safety concerns. However, several points remain general or unclear: the treatment example does not explain how sharing research would make treatment affordable, and the Yahoo example is difficult to interpret and is not clearly connected to the value of restricting information. Your opinion—that relevant information should be shared while privacy is protected—is present, but it needs a clearer explanation of what should be shared and what should remain confidential. Develop each main claim with a precise example and explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, a personal opinion and a conclusion. Transitions such as “On the one hand,” “Furthermore” and “On the other hand” help signal the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven: the first paragraph moves from public awareness to education without clearly linking the ideas, and the Yahoo example is introduced abruptly. Some linking phrases are inaccurate or awkward, including “there is equal justification to vectus for prime,” which makes the relationship between ideas hard to follow. The conclusion, “stands true in their virtue with equal validation,” does not clearly summarise the argument. Use straightforward transitions and make each paragraph develop one central point in a logical sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt topic-related vocabulary, including “confidential,” “sensitive information,” “data breach,” “innovations” and “treatments.” This shows some awareness of the language needed for the topic. However, the range is limited by repeated general words such as “information,” “people” and “important,” while several inaccurate or unnatural choices make meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “vectus for prime,” “couplet opinion,” “caught into the trap” and “stay update to date.” Spelling and word-form errors such as “awarness,” “cruical,” “reseach” and “afforable” are also noticeable. Build a bank of accurate collocations for discussing research, intellectual property and privacy, and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

There are attempts to use both simple and more complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “If it is leaked it may be into the wrong hands” and clauses explaining the benefits of research. However, the range is limited, and complex sentences are often faulty, so readers sometimes have to work to understand the intended meaning. For example, “Many of people believe believe” has an incorrect plural construction and repetition, while “Any changes happened in academic world, Teaching professionals must be aware of it” has problems with tense, articles and sentence boundaries. Agreement and sentence construction are also weak in “it costs extremely high” and “that treatment cost should be afforable.” Practise building accurate sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and use full stops rather than joining separate ideas with commas.

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