Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

A common preception is that it is better to share all the information you know in research, business and academic world.However,other community believe that some information should be kept private.I agee with the later view.

A significant people think that one should share a great amount of information so that any reasearch that is hapenning will happen more accurately.They think that it is better to get a lot of information so that they can keep an eye on every strategy and every single thing which is hapening in their environment and surrounding.For instance:If a business man keeps an eye on every strategy and activity perform by his compatitor, he can do alot better in his business after knowing the other business man strategy and he could perform a little better in his firm.

On the other hand some people think that we should keep some information private because some information is a bit sensitive.Some things and information are meant to be private and shoulbe be keep private.However,some people dont understand this fact that the sensitive data should be handled in a proper way.For instance: During solving a case in National Cyber Crime Department one should not disclose someone^s private photos or videos.

In conclusion,both are logical but the former creates serious concern.It means that some things are really private and valuable so they should not be shared freely.Civilians should be aware of that serious concerns and should not be involved in any kind of thing.People should take more precautions before sharing information.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the discussion and state a clear preference in the introduction: “I agree with the latter view.” The examples about a competitor’s business strategy and private images in a cybercrime case are relevant, and the conclusion reinforces the need to protect valuable information. However, the first viewpoint is explained mainly as a way to monitor competitors, rather than exploring broader benefits of sharing research or academic knowledge. The second side is also asserted more than developed: explain who could be harmed by disclosure and why safeguards matter. The final reference to “Civilians” and avoiding “any kind of thing” is unclear and does not add a precise reason. Develop each view more fully and make your own position’s reasoning consistent throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion. “On the other hand” clearly signals the contrast, while “In conclusion” marks the ending. This makes the main direction easy to follow. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, with repeated references to “information” and “some people,” and several ideas are joined without clear relationships. For example, the first body paragraph moves from research accuracy to monitoring business competitors without explaining the connection. The conclusion’s “Civilians should be aware of that serious concerns” is also difficult to link to the preceding point. Use clearer topic sentences, develop one central idea per paragraph, and make references and transitions more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “sensitive,” “private,” “strategy,” and “disclose,” which helps communicate the central issue. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, spelling, and collocation errors make the writing less clear or natural. Examples include “a significant people,” “a great amount of information,” “activity perform by his compatitor,” and “serious concern.” Repetition of “information,” “private,” and “some things” also limits precision. Aim to use accurate collocations and a wider set of terms for the two sides of the debate, such as knowledge-sharing, confidential data, commercial advantage, and public benefit. Proofreading spelling and word forms would also make your meaning easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a reason clause with “because” and a conditional example beginning “If a business man keeps an eye…”. These attempts show some range, but control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make sentences difficult to process. For example, “A significant people think” has an agreement problem, while “some information should be kept private” is followed by the faulty construction “shouldbe be keep private.” The long conditional sentence also shifts between “he can” and “he could” without a clear reason. Punctuation and spacing around sentence boundaries are inconsistent, as in “world.However” and “For instance:If.” Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, verb forms, and sentence boundaries before adding more complex structures.

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