Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There are people who like to participate in scientific research, business, academia by sharing their data and relevant information. while some believe that there information should be kept private and cannot be shared to others.

Firstly, we will discuss about the people who like to take part in scientific research, academia and businesses. Such people want to serve to the society in such a way that they think their little information may be helpful in solving a big problem. For example, if doctors are researching about some disease and unable to find any information related to it. Meanwhile, there is a person who is suffering with such disease who goes to them and give them the relevant information. It would be very helpful for the doctors to find a cure for that disease and who knows how many patients with that disease would benefit from it in future.

On the other hand, some people think that they should not share their information with scientific research, business or academia related activites. Their major concern is that their privacy could be breached or their identity could be disclosed. Especially, if a person is medically unfit, but for general public he is completely normal. In this case, if he plans to share his condition with some researchers, then what is the guarantee that his identity will not be revealed or his data should be kept private and only used for medical research.

In my view, both parties are correct in their views. People should be encouraged to take part in such activities because in the end it is for the betterment of our society. Similarly, such organizations need to make sure that whatever data they are collecting should be kept private and the privacy of participants should be at high priority. Consequently, when people think there data will be private and secure, people will take part in it happily.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both views and give a clear personal position: you support participation in research while arguing that organisations must protect participants’ privacy. The medical example helps explain why sharing information can benefit society, and the concern about a patient’s identity being disclosed is relevant to the opposing view. However, the discussion focuses mainly on personal medical data, so the business and academic contexts in the prompt receive little attention. Some points also need fuller explanation: for example, you ask what guarantee there is of privacy but do not discuss safeguards such as anonymisation or consent. Develop each side more evenly and make your examples directly cover the different fields named in the question.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph for each view, and a conclusion that states your position. The contrast between the two main arguments is easy to follow, and examples are placed alongside the relevant claims. Some linking is mechanical, however, as in “Firstly,” “On the other hand,” and “Consequently,” while “Meanwhile” does not clearly connect the situation in the medical example. There are also unclear references, such as “their information” and “their data,” where it is not always clear whose information is meant. Use transitions that express the precise relationship between ideas, and repeat or clarify key nouns when pronouns could be ambiguous.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “scientific research,” “privacy,” “identity,” and “medical research.” Some less common expressions, such as “breached” and “betterment of our society,” show an attempt to vary your language. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, including “participate in … by sharing,” “serve to the society,” and “suffering with such disease.” “Activities” is also misspelled as “activites,” and “there” is used where “their” is intended. These slips do not prevent understanding, but they reduce precision. Build a bank of natural collocations for discussing data, research participation, confidentiality, and commercial information, and check spelling and possessives carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including conditional sentences (“if he plans to share his condition”) and clauses explaining consequences. The overall meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. The opening begins a new sentence with lowercase “while,” and “There are people … while some believe” is not correctly joined. Other examples include “doctors are researching … and unable to find,” which lacks a repeated subject and verb, and “what is the guarantee that … his data should be kept private,” where the clause structure is faulty. There are also errors in articles, agreement, and prepositions, such as “a cure for that disease” being followed by “in future.” Practise accurate sentence boundaries and subordinate clauses while retaining your attempts at complex forms.

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