Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Shareing as opportunity about the explore some essiest education knowledge as well as other leaning envirnmental about company and business is vital number of valuable to be shared freely for individuals.few people argue that share as much information and valuable international trade to be provided freely, that is beneficial part of me including everyone.i will elobanate reason and advantage outweigh of useful perspective.

To begin with, few youngsters felt that its crucial to share as information as explore som different new ideas and provided with freely for poor people and middle class people can affortable from them espeacially the learning atmosphere it is benefit and stability part of present time because nowadays individuals wants to lean from valuable opportunities to ahieve their goals and better career growth.Moreover, we cannot overlook the fact that, i believe that improve this types of key to sucess and the foundational of personal development and the key to building a greatful society as far as bneaking the cyle of poverty.for example, government should allow to people can easily to lean from vehicles such as, computer,laptop.that makes as much as convenient powerful tools that shapes live and improve strong individuals and making life easier.

On the other hand, some people argue that its important and flexibity to be shared your own experience for free.that is valuable knowledge for students makes life more easier and the understanding of provide opportunity to become sucessful life, as it international market,international trade and surrounded internet with the world around us.however, it is worth noting that shapes modern life by improving communication,education,healthcare and productivity.in addition, this typs of provide skills for free,that it stability way for student is easily to focus on study and work rather than outdoor activites.

In coclusion, although i believe that shared as possible information for free that is crucial for individuals because they can easily to learn more skills and opportunities as impact of helpful for each other as well as this vital for academic qualifications students and grow business in the future.therefore, i think this is an important issue that should be considered carefully and achieve their goal, that is biggest influencer for every people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a general opinion in favour of sharing information, especially because it can help people learn and improve their prospects. The discussion also mentions the opposing view, but it does not explain why some information may be too valuable or sensitive to share freely. Instead, the paragraph beginning “On the other hand” largely repeats benefits of free access, so a central part of the task is only minimally addressed. Several claims, such as sharing helping to reduce poverty or improve healthcare, are introduced but not explained with a clear example or reasoning. To strengthen the response, present a distinct argument for protecting valuable information—for instance, commercial confidentiality or research ownership—then compare it with the benefits of openness and support your own position consistently.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “To begin with” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion, so the reader can recognise an overall essay structure. However, the ideas within paragraphs do not progress clearly: the first body paragraph moves from access for poorer people to personal development, poverty, and computer equipment without explaining the links. The second paragraph is also difficult to follow because it shifts between experience, students, international trade, and modern services. Connect each paragraph to one main claim, develop it in a logical sequence, and use pronouns and linking phrases only when their references are clear. The conclusion repeats the general view but does not resolve the contrast between the two positions.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “valuable knowledge,” “personal development,” “international trade,” and “productivity.” However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling, word-form, and collocation problems make several ideas hard to understand. Examples include “Shareing,” “essiest,” “lean,” “flexibity,” and “biggest influencer”; phrases such as “share as information” and “stability way” are also unnatural. These issues sometimes strain the reader, particularly where several unclear expressions occur together. Build a more accurate set of topic-specific phrases and check spelling and word combinations. For example, distinguish “share research findings” from “protect commercially sensitive information,” and use precise terms rather than repeating “valuable” or “important.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some longer sentences and use basic connectors, but sentence structures are often incomplete or incorrectly joined, and errors frequently obscure the intended meaning. For example, “few people argue that share as much information … to be provided freely” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “government should allow to people can easily to lean” combines incompatible verb patterns. There are also recurring problems with articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries, as in “individuals wants” and “that is valuable knowledge for students makes life more easier.” Aim first for accurate simple sentences, then add subordinate clauses using reliable patterns such as “Some people argue that…” and “This is because…”. Check that each sentence has a clear subject and verb and that clauses are joined correctly.

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