Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, some people imagine that it is a dood idea to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and acdamic world while, other believes that some information is important or valuable to be shared freely with everyone. This essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own opinion that, sharing information may be beneficial for peoples who have no knowladge about their work.

On the one hand, this is great opportunitiy if you want to help someone. Peoples who have no knowladge about science, business, religion,city rules and acadmic world so, you should be help in every field of life. That's why people can success in business and carrier. For example, my friend faced some difficulties in mathematics so, he call me for help to solve this problem however, i am highest achiever in maths so, there is big opportunity for help and make it straightforward for him. Furthermore, you can share information in any place like school,home workplace and science.

On the other hand, some people believe that information is very important and valuable to be shared freely. This is a good thing between community and enverionment. However traffis congestion is the biggest problem because don't have knowladge about traffic rules and signals so, they drive vehicles without license. For example, sweden is the best country known as information provider and the people are very helpful and convenient.

In conclusion, i completely agree with that information is the good habit for help each other in defficlt tie/

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AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You attempt to discuss both views and state an opinion, but the response only partially addresses the question. The opening says sharing helps “people who have no knowledge,” and the first body paragraph focuses mainly on helping individuals, rather than explaining the benefits of openness in scientific research, business, and academia. The second paragraph does not clearly develop the opposing view that some information is too valuable or sensitive to share; its points about traffic rules and Sweden are difficult to connect to that argument. Your position is present, but it is not consistently supported with relevant reasons or examples. The response contains 240 words, so it is 10 words below the required minimum. To improve, explain each side directly and develop examples that clearly support your claims.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs beginning “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. These markers help the reader identify the intended discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear because several ideas are placed together without showing how they relate. For example, the first body paragraph moves from helping people to business and careers, then to a mathematics anecdote and places where information can be shared. The traffic example and Sweden reference in the next paragraph also do not connect clearly to the point about valuable information. Some linking words, such as “however” and “so,” are used awkwardly. Organise each paragraph around one clear claim, then explain and illustrate it in sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “scientific research,” “business,” “academic world,” “valuable,” and “traffic rules,” and you attempt phrases such as “information provider.” This gives the response a basic range for the topic. However, vocabulary is often repetitive or imprecise: “help” and “information” recur frequently, while phrases such as “good habit for help each other” do not express the intended meaning naturally. Spelling errors—including “dood,” “acdamic,” “knowladge,” and “enverionment”—are noticeable and sometimes make reading less smooth. Choose more precise terms for the two sides of the debate, such as sharing knowledge and protecting confidential or commercially sensitive information, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a sentence beginning “while” and examples introduced with “For example.” The main ideas can generally be followed, but control is uneven, particularly in longer sentences. For instance, “Peoples who have no knowladge … so, you should be help” is not a complete, well-formed sentence, and “he call me” has an incorrect verb form. There are also recurring problems with articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries, as in “this is great opportunity” and the run-on construction around “mathematics so, he call me.” Use complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, check verb forms and articles, and separate independent clauses with appropriate punctuation.

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