Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The issue of whether sharing information is good for scientific research, business and the academic world has a subject of debate in recent years.

While some argue that some sensitive details are valuable which cannot share independently, Others have different viewpoint. In this essay I will explain the both argumets in detail and give my own opinion

On the one hand, exchanging useful information is the benefits for the society and encourages innovation. This is beacuse when people have awareness about the trending things and tecnical information, it helps to become life more easy. For example, during covid-19 pandemic, researcher and doctor published the articles about how to cure themselves and which medication is useful. Consequently, It is really helpful to overcome the diesease and fight against it.

However, sensitive business information, personal data and valuable inventions should be protected. When information is confidential, people keep their privacy on social media and on internet. For instance, reasearcher reported that excessive use of social media and AI apps can breaches their privacy of people which bring the big impact on social life. Government should allocate the rules and regualtion against the s

In conclusion, the advancement of technology allows us to share information in a single click, whereas, some need privacy and security from fraud and scam. In my opinion, governments and institutions should establish clear rules about what can be shared and what must remain confidential.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the discussion and give a relevant opinion in the conclusion: information can support progress, while some material should remain confidential. The COVID-19 example helps illustrate the benefits of sharing research. However, the response only partially develops the task: the business and academic contexts receive little specific discussion, and the privacy example does not clearly explain why valuable information should not be shared freely. The second body paragraph also ends abruptly at “against the s,” leaving its point incomplete. Your position is clearest in the conclusion, rather than being established and supported throughout. The response is 14 words below the required minimum, which contributes to the limited development. Extend both sides with specific reasons and examples, and complete the discussion of your opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs signalled by “On the one hand” and “However,” and a conclusion. This makes the main direction of the argument reasonably easy to follow. However, progression within paragraphs is limited: the point about social-media privacy shifts away from the discussion of valuable business or research information, and the second body paragraph stops mid-sentence. Some linking is mechanical, and the conclusion introduces the idea of fraud and scams without developing it earlier. To improve, make each paragraph focus on one clear claim, connect each example directly to that claim, and use referencing and transitions to show how ideas relate rather than relying mainly on set phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “sensitive details,” “confidential,” “innovation,” “privacy,” and “security,” which helps communicate the central contrast. There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “technical information” and “excessive use of social media.” However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, including “argumets,” “beacuse,” “tecnical,” “diesease,” and “regualtion.” Some phrases are awkward or imprecise, such as “the benefits for the society,” “become life more easy,” and “published the articles about how to cure themselves.” Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning natural collocations for discussing research, data protection, and commercial information. More precise vocabulary would also help distinguish the different kinds of information in the prompt.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including a subordinate clause beginning “when people have awareness” and a contrast introduced by “whereas.” The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but errors occur frequently and sometimes make sentences difficult to interpret. For example, “has a subject of debate” is missing a suitable verb construction, while “some sensitive details are valuable which cannot share independently” has faulty clause structure and a missing passive form. Other problems include “it helps to become life more easy,” “researcher and doctor published,” and the incomplete final sentence of the second body paragraph. Review subject–verb agreement, articles, passive constructions, and sentence boundaries. Aim first for accurate simple sentences, then add complex structures that you can control.

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