Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the modren era , sharing of information play a curcial role in the csientific research , business as well as academic world. While some people believe that assessible of data to everyone but others argue that certain informaion is too sensitive to be discolsed publicaly . In my opinion , details should be share as possible in global but hide your personal information and data.

On the one hand , sharing evidence can significantly contrivute to social and technological development . When the scientists and researchers exchange their finding , they can built uopn exixting knowledge and avoid unnecessary repetion. For example , duraning covid 19 , the coperation and international research discover a vaccine and defeat the disease almost all around global . Moreover , if a students prepare a assignment and publish by paper , the international pupils can assess on it easily and improve their knowledge and use for documentary and for study purposes that not only benefical for learner but also incerase the source of income for him .

On the other hand , there are valid reasons why certain facts remain confidental. In the business sector , if a company share its informaton about unique ideas, products and stratigies. The compaterors can easily assess on it and hang the websites and used on its name and earn money . So , that organization will face loss and also subsitial problems .

In consluse , although protecting valuable and personal information is essitial . I believe that the advantage of sharing knowlede but also

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the discussion and state a general position: information should be shared broadly, while personal data should be protected. The examples about international research during COVID-19 and companies’ commercially valuable ideas are relevant. However, the position is not fully clear or consistently developed: the opening refers to hiding personal information, while the business paragraph focuses on protecting company secrets, and the conclusion ends before completing your view. Some supporting points, such as the claim that publishing an assignment can increase a student’s income, are difficult to follow and are not explained. Develop each side with a clear reason and a specific example, then finish with a complete conclusion that directly answers the question.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a concluding paragraph. Phrases such as “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help signal the contrast. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow, particularly in the point about students publishing assignments and the benefits that follow. Several ideas are joined in long, loosely connected sentences, and the conclusion is incomplete, so the essay does not reach a clear final resolution. Use one main idea per paragraph, connect each explanation directly to its example, and check that pronouns and references clearly identify what they refer to. A complete final sentence would make the overall organisation more effective.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “social and technological development,” “existing knowledge,” “sensitive,” and “business sector.” These choices show an effort to discuss research and commercial information rather than relying only on basic terms. However, spelling errors and inaccurate word choices are frequent and sometimes make the meaning hard to recover, as in “assessible,” “discolsed,” “compaterors,” and “hang the websites.” Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “defeat the disease” and “increase the source of income.” Build accuracy by learning topic-specific collocations and checking spelling carefully. Prefer clear, familiar wording when you are unsure of a more ambitious expression.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast in the introduction and a conditional idea about companies sharing information. However, control is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make several sentences difficult to understand. For example, “sharing of information play” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “if a company share” and “the scientists … can built” show errors in verb forms. The opening sentence also lacks a clear grammatical structure after “While,” and the final sentence is unfinished. Practise forming complete clauses, checking agreement and verb forms, and using punctuation to separate ideas. Aim for accurate, shorter sentences before adding more complex structures.

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