Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This is an ongoing debate, the advertising in businesses used for showing their products in new ways. This is the positive development in my perspective because this approach get success in business world.

On the one hand, the business man used the advertising to promote their goods in front of the public because they wants to persuade the individuals to bought their products. For example, the coca cola was made the huge success and great revenue every year through the advertising. However, everyone knows the carbonated drinks were not good for health but advertising changed the people's mind through using the slogan like attached with emotions that's how individuals subconciously bought goods moreover, the advertising plays with mind and promote the products in good manners.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

Your position is stated: you consider the emphasis on new products a positive development. However, the response addresses the task only minimally. It gives a general reason for advertising—persuading people to buy—and mentions Coca-Cola’s revenue, but it does not explain why businesses specifically highlight that products are new. The discussion also shifts to advertising’s influence on consumers’ health choices without explaining whether this makes the development positive or negative. The example is not developed enough to support your view, and there is no conclusion. The response is 125 words, below the required 250, so important parts of the argument remain absent. To improve, explain the appeal of novelty, develop your position with a relevant example, and address the question directly throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening states your view, followed by a paragraph beginning “On the one hand” that introduces an example. However, the ideas do not progress clearly from the question to supporting reasons and a conclusion. The phrase “On the one hand” suggests a contrasting point, but no corresponding “on the other hand” discussion follows. Several ideas are joined into one long sentence, particularly the discussion of carbonated drinks, slogans, and consumer behaviour, making their relationships difficult to follow. The opening sentence is also unclear in how it connects advertising with products being new. Use separate paragraphs for each main reason, connect each example explicitly to your position, and finish with a concise conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “advertising,” “promote,” “persuade,” “revenue,” and “carbonated drinks.” This gives you a basic range for discussing business and consumer behaviour. However, several expressions are imprecise or awkward, such as “showing their products in new ways,” “great revenue,” and “plays with mind.” Spelling errors such as “subconciously” also reduce accuracy. Some wording is repeated, especially “advertising” and “products,” and the response does not yet show much flexibility in describing novelty or its effects. Aim to use more precise collocations, such as “highlight a product’s new features” or “influence purchasing decisions,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, but control is uneven, and errors sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “This is an ongoing debate, the advertising in businesses used…” joins two ideas without a suitable grammatical connection. In “the business man used … because they wants,” the subject and pronoun do not agree, and “to bought” should use the base verb after “to.” The sentence about Coca-Cola also has faulty verb forms: “was made the huge success.” Your final sentence contains several clauses joined without clear punctuation, which obscures the relationships between ideas. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, verb patterns, and sentence boundaries, then build longer sentences from correctly formed clauses.

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