Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

At present, many big businesses illustrate that their goods are new in some ways by promoting ads. This is because of sick competition between business holders. I strongly believe that this is a negative development because such initiatives hamper customers trust.

To begin with, increasing bad competition among the producers is the main reason and that's why companies highly emphasise that their products are brand new. When business holders are seeing there are so many producers beside them and all are making same kind of products, they start to find out any effective way and demonstrate their goods attractive from their neighbour. Most of the time they add preservative, such as formalin to their products which helps to protect from fungus and bacteria in a longer lifespun. Business person add this poisonous elements as they just want to showcase their goods in a fresh condition from their competitors.

I think that excessive priority on showing goods are in new condition kill customers trust. People always want to purchase a good quality products with a reasonable price. It is not necessary either the goods are lookrative or not. If people buy products seeing it's outlook wand hen they unbox it and find the goods are not in good condition, they may be annoyed. After that in future customers will not trust the producers because sellers kill their trust.

In conclusion, although rising unnecessary competition among the producers is the prime reason and from my perspective it is a negative development just because it disrespect buyers trust.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You answer both parts of the question: you attribute the emphasis on novelty to competition and clearly state that you see it as negative because it damages customer trust. The example of producers using preservatives also gives the explanation some specificity. However, the response only partially develops the task. It does not explain clearly why advertising products as new is an effective way to compete, and the claim about formalin is asserted rather than supported or linked convincingly to advertising. The negative impact is also mainly described as customers losing trust; further consequences or a more concrete example would strengthen the argument. Develop each main idea with a clear explanation and relevant evidence so the position is more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction presents the reason and opinion, two body paragraphs develop them, and a conclusion restates the view. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with,” “I think,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the structure. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, and links between claims are not always clear. For example, the discussion moves from competition to adding preservatives, but the connection between this practice and advertising novelty needs to be made explicit. References such as “they” and “their” can also leave it unclear whether you mean producers, sellers, or customers. Use more precise referencing and connect each example directly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “competition,” “producers,” “preservative,” and “customers’ trust,” and the main message is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts difficult to interpret. “Sick competition” does not express the intended idea naturally, while “goods are in new condition” and “kill customers trust” are awkward. There are also spelling and word-form problems, such as “lifespun,” “lookrative,” and “wand hen.” Aim for precise, natural phrases and check spelling carefully. Replacing repeated general terms such as “goods” with context-appropriate words like “products” or “items” would also improve flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional structure in “If people buy products … and then they unbox it …, they may be annoyed.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and verb forms can make the reader work to understand the meaning. For example, “companies … emphasise that their products are brand new” is followed by “goods are in new condition,” while “excessive priority … kill” has a subject–verb agreement problem. The sentence beginning “When business holders are seeing” also uses an unsuitable verb form. Practise building accurate clauses first, then combine them, checking that subjects and verbs agree and that singular and plural forms remain consistent.

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