Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the modern era , most of the businesses typically protary their items in unique way in advertisement . There are plenty of reason behind this and i believe this is an positive development , my justification will be provided in the upcoming paragraphs along with relevant examples .

To begin with , one of the predominantly reason why businesses give special attention to their products in new ways because they want their products to be notice . To articulate , nowadays because of techological developement , anyone can displayes thier ads . Due to that , in recent time , no one is giving attention to the normal advertisement that we saw typically . Therefore , big companies , emphasis thier products in unique way in advertisement so people give attention to that . Like , doing something unique in their advertisment and because of that individuals might give their attention .As a result , the more people will know about their products the more their sales will grow . For example, smartphone companies usually advertise upgraded camera , faster processer and impove battert life to persuade customers to buy their phone .

Moreover , another major reason is because of the compitation . To elaborate , due to compitation in market between brands , each and every business want to be unique from their competitors . By improving their prodcuts design or features , comapines can capture customers attention and eventually sales of that prodcts willl increase . As an effect , customers might purchase this emphasise products rather than buying normal products .

In conclusion , there are some reason why business give special attention their products in thier advertisment such as duo to competition between other brands and also to attrect people attention . Therefore , i believe that this is positive development because it forces businesses to do new everytime and it develop healthy competition .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question: you explain that businesses highlight novelty to attract attention and stand out from competitors, and you clearly state that you see this as positive because it encourages innovation and healthy competition. The smartphone example gives relevant support for the first reason. However, the second reason is mostly asserted: explain more specifically how competition leads to meaningful product improvements or benefits consumers. Your positive judgement also needs fuller support; for instance, discuss how innovation can improve quality or choice, while acknowledging any possible drawback such as exaggerated advertising. Some ideas are therefore less fully developed than others, although the response remains relevant to the task.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The ideas progress logically from attracting attention to competing with other brands, and signposts such as “To begin with,” “Moreover” and “In conclusion” help readers follow this sequence. This already provides a coherent framework. To make the progression more natural and precise, reduce formulaic linking and connect each explanation directly to its consequence. For example, the repeated pattern of “To elaborate,” “As an effect” and “As a result” can feel mechanical, and “Like” introduces an example informally. Some references, such as “this emphasise products,” are also unclear. More varied transitions and clearer links between claims and examples would strengthen cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “advertisement,” “competitors,” “features,” “sales” and “healthy competition,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “upgraded camera” and “faster processor.” However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable throughout, including “protary,” “compitation,” “attrect” and “emphasis products.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “give special attention their products” and “capture customers attention.” These inaccuracies limit precision and sometimes make the reader pause, even though the intended meaning is usually recoverable. Focus on accurate spelling and natural collocations, and use a more varied range of terms for innovation, product features and consumer interest.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a reason clause beginning “because” and a comparative structure in “the more people will know … the more their sales will grow.” Most of the argument can be followed, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “one of the predominantly reason” has incorrect agreement and form, while “anyone can displayes” and “businesses … want” show problems with verb forms and agreement. Articles and sentence boundaries also need attention, as in “in unique way” and the run-on transition after “give their attention.” These errors do not generally prevent understanding, but they reduce accuracy. Practise checking subject–verb agreement, articles, verb forms and punctuation, while retaining your attempts at longer sentence structures.

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