Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowdays, advertisment of the cheap quality products has become increasingly popular. Several businesses claim that their products are unique and different from other brands in terms of effectiveness and quality.In my view, this trend is a negative development. This is largely because, it has negative impact on physical well being and it can cause finanical burden.

To commence with, many advertising companies use different marketing strategies to attract younger people particularly to incease their sales. They often emphasise that their products are new and different from others. For instance, many skincare brands often claim that they products have effective ingredients and formulas that can transform their skin overnight. Consequently many individuals purchase those products. As a result, it causes several skin allergies and reactions due to harmful chemicals. Therefore, many advertising companies often scam young people by advertising cheap and fake products.

Moreover, advertisement of branded clothes and other items can cause finanical burden on people. For example, younger generation often buy branded products and do not invest money on higher education and future goals. As a result, they can feel finanical pressure and lack of academic qualification to secure well-paid jobs. Consequently, they face financial burden due to excessive spending of money on expensive items.Thus, It can lead to financial instablilty.

In conclusion, in my view the increasing trend of advertisement is a negative development. The fake claims of brands not only have detrimental effects on physical healthcare , it can cause financial burden on individuals. The government should take several measures to address this issue.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you consider the emphasis on novelty a negative development, and you give two relevant reasons—possible harm from skincare products and financial pressure from spending on branded goods. The examples help connect these points to consumers, so the response addresses both the reasons for the trend and your opinion. However, the explanation of why businesses stress that products are new is only briefly covered: attracting younger buyers and increasing sales are mentioned, but the commercial motivation could be explained more fully. The second argument also shifts from advertising to young people’s education and career prospects without clearly showing how novelty-focused claims cause those outcomes. Develop each cause-and-effect link and support it with a more precise example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting separate concerns, and a conclusion that restates your view. Sequencing expressions such as “To commence with,” “Moreover,” and “In conclusion” make the progression easy to follow. However, some linking is mechanical, and several consecutive result markers—“Consequently,” “As a result,” and “Therefore”—make the first body paragraph feel repetitive. The relationship between branded advertising, reduced investment in education, and difficulty securing well-paid jobs is also not fully clear. Use fewer formulaic connectors and make the links between claims explicit. Clearer referencing, especially when moving from a product’s claims to the effects on consumers, would strengthen cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “marketing strategies,” “effective ingredients,” “financial burden,” and “financial instability.” These choices help communicate your concerns about consumer health and spending. However, spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural combinations are noticeable, including “advertisment,” “finanical,” “cheap quality products,” and “physical healthcare.” Some wording also overstates the point: calling products “fake” or companies a “scam” is not clearly supported by the examples. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully; for example, distinguish between low-cost products and low-quality products, and describe misleading claims more precisely. This would make your argument clearer and more credible.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including cause-and-effect structures with “because,” “Consequently,” and “As a result.” The overall meaning is generally understandable, but errors in sentence construction and grammatical control recur. For example, “because, it has negative impact” has unnecessary punctuation and is missing an article, while “they products have” has an incorrect determiner. In “Consequently many individuals purchase those products,” punctuation after the introductory connector is needed. There are also inconsistent sentence boundaries and capitalization, such as “items.Thus” and “Thus, It.” Review articles, possessives, agreement, and punctuation, then proofread each sentence. More consistently accurate complex sentences would improve control.

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