Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasis that their products are new in some way. Sometime they advertise to buy things that people do not need and I strongly believe that it is a negative development because it is a wate of money and time.

To begin with, advertising targets emotions, especially of children and womens. These advetisment shows that if you do not buy this product, you will be left behind. Fast food ads shows that the happy families eating burgers and they are enjoying together, so children force their parents tobuy this if it is unhealthy. Make-up ads show that womens are notbeautiful without makeup so they make it a way that they need to buy this product by emotional blackmailing. Another reason is that some businesses shows the ads which led to waste of money. They advertise it by some famous person so they force people to buy these things which hey do not need and they waste their money and time.

Moreover, some advertisement creates artificial desires. Some famous actor or star advertise it, they show people that if they buy it they will look happy, rich and satisfied but in reality they do not need it. These ads trap their minds and manipulate to buy this product. However, some ads gives us information about the product but actually it is a manipulation.

In conclusion, advertising is a powerful tool that influence the mind of individuals to buy thing that they do not need and create a desire to buy this product.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a clear negative position and offer relevant reasons, including emotional appeals to children and women, celebrity endorsements, and artificial desires. However, the task asks both why businesses emphasise novelty and whether this is positive or negative; your response focuses mainly on manipulation and unnecessary purchases, with little explanation of why companies promote products as new. The examples are also asserted rather than developed—for instance, the fast-food and make-up examples could explain how novelty helps attract attention or increase sales. The conclusion repeats your view but does not add support. The response is 248 words, so it falls two words short of the 250-word minimum; the eight words copied from the prompt are not counted. Develop the reasons and examples more fully to address the task adequately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

Your response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “To begin with” and “Moreover,” and a conclusion. The ideas are generally grouped by topic, and examples help readers follow your points. However, progression is limited because both body paragraphs repeat the idea that advertising manipulates people into buying unnecessary products. Some links are also unclear or mechanical: “Another reason” introduces a point that overlaps with the previous one, while “However” signals contrast without clearly explaining what is being contrasted. The conclusion largely repeats the introduction. To improve, give each paragraph a distinct purpose, connect each example explicitly to its main point, and use referencing and transitions more precisely.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “advertising,” “emotions,” “artificial desires,” “manipulate,” and “emotional blackmailing,” which helps communicate your concerns. There is some variation in how you describe advertising’s effects, but the range is limited and several phrases are inaccurate or repetitive. For example, “force people to buy” and “trap their minds” recur as broad descriptions, while “emotional blackmailing” is not a natural collocation in this context. Spelling errors such as “wate,” “advetisment,” and “womens” are noticeable and reduce accuracy. Build a more precise range for explaining companies’ motives, such as attracting attention, differentiating products, and encouraging purchases, and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including conditional and subordinate clauses, as in “if you do not buy this product, you will be left behind.” This shows some ability to connect ideas, but control is inconsistent, and errors occur frequently enough to make parts of the response awkward. Examples include subject–verb agreement in “advertising is a powerful tool that influence” and “some advertisement creates,” missing or incorrect articles in “by some famous person,” and faulty sentence construction in “some famous actor or star advertise it, they show people.” There are also punctuation and spacing problems that make sentences harder to read. Practise accurate agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries, then proofread each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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