Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Advertisement is the best way to use certainly in marketing industries these days. Some marketing companies illustrate that they are launching a product with new features.This esaay will discuss the both positive and negative sides. The esaay will also argue that how bad it is going to affect our people.

To begin with,the way of advertising product is one of the most crucial step to get the excellent revenue.In this modern era of active social media, the competition between marketing agencies is getting substancially increased day by day.For instance, our generation is accustomed to follow the global fashion trends due to their favourite influencers and celebrities.Consequently, the business companies hired these celebrities to launch their products with more emphasis on new features. Moreover, almost every popular influencer on Instagram,Facebook and Tiktok spreading the good news about the new feature of the same products.

On the contrary, people specially youngsters diverted their attention from studies and main objective.The buying of a new model is seriously having a negative impact on our youth.For example, the new version of iphone despite the fact that it has only one new feature or a tiny change in the prior model is still sells higher even on launching.I believed that advertise a new product should prefer rather than only emphasising the new feature in previously introduced object.Therefore, people will not get into competition to buy a new model car, mobile phone, and other products.

Business requires the marketing of products to get money emphasise the new features

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both questions by suggesting that businesses highlight new features to attract buyers and by presenting this emphasis as harmful, particularly for young people. The influencer and iPhone examples are relevant, and your view that advertising should promote products rather than minor changes is discernible. However, the explanation of why businesses do this is mostly limited to competition and celebrity promotion, while the negative effects are asserted more than explained. The opening promises to discuss both positive and negative sides, but the essay does not develop a clear positive case; the final sentence is also incomplete and does not provide a conclusion. Develop each main reason with a clear explanation and example, and state your overall position consistently.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: an opening is followed by a paragraph about marketing and influencers, then a contrasting paragraph about young consumers. Connectors such as “To begin with,” “For instance,” and “On the contrary” signal relationships between ideas. However, progression is difficult to follow because the introduction announces both positive and negative sides without a clear plan, and the final sentence is an unfinished point rather than a conclusion. Some links are also imprecise: “On the contrary” does not clearly contrast with the preceding explanation of advertising, and “Therefore” introduces a recommendation without showing how it follows from the example. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s purpose, link claims explicitly, and finish by summarising your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “marketing,” “competition,” “influencers,” “new features,” and “negative impact,” which helps communicate the general subject. There are also attempts at less common wording, such as “emphasis” and “accustomed.” However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or unnatural choices make parts harder to understand: “use certainly in marketing industries,” “excellent revenue,” and “spreading the good news” do not express the intended ideas precisely. Spelling errors such as “esaay” and “substancially,” along with inconsistent forms such as “advertise” where a noun is needed, are noticeable. Build a more precise set of collocations for consumer behaviour and commercial motives, and check spelling and word forms during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a reason-and-result structure with “Consequently” and a concession in the iPhone example. However, errors occur frequently and sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. For example, “the competition … is getting … increased” has an incorrect verb construction, while “the new version … is still sells higher” combines incompatible verb forms. There are also problems with articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries, as in “one of the most crucial step” and “Moreover, almost every popular influencer … spreading.” Punctuation spacing and the run-on final sentence further affect readability. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and verb patterns, and proofread each sentence for a complete main clause before adding complex structures.

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