Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-07-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In modern era technology has the rumours researches and dangerous which is beneficial for human beings. One of the cosmetic surgery, who is become most popular in nowadays I strongly believe that it is a negative development because it encourage people to take risk with their body and also create negative effect on society.
To commence with, most of the people regret after their surgery because they leads several well-being issues such as skin infections, and serious health issues. For instance, many cases argues that small mistakes during the operation leads serious injury because DNA formation do not work properly and leading issues like as pimples. As a result, these people suffering from health issues whole life. Even though death will be possible.
In addition, human being certainly unique things from the communities. Moreover, they have a feeling of try it because nobody want it have some disability and also people want to become mr. perfect such as who person facing negative comments on their apperance, who really want to perfect it so, it encourage people by reading a role model and also other want to be do it. Besides cosmetic surgery is extremely expensive, people adopt it. In contrast, it leads financial crisis and addressed pupils under poverty.
In conclusion, cosmetic surgery leads negative affects on pubic. Although natural body contains whole things, who do not adopt by artificial body are well as leads to a well-bing issues, which contains financial loss.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks about why businesses emphasize that products are 'new' in advertising and whether this is positive or negative. The student instead writes an essay about the dangers of cosmetic surgery. Because the response fails to address the prompt entirely, it cannot be assessed for task development or position. Additionally, the response is under the 250-word minimum requirement, which further impacts the score. To improve, you must carefully analyze the prompt's keywords and ensure your content directly answers the specific question asked rather than writing a pre-memorized or unrelated essay.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
While the essay uses paragraphing and some cohesive devices like 'To commence with', 'In addition', and 'In conclusion', the logical progression is severely hampered by the fact that the content does not relate to the topic. The ideas within the paragraphs are often disjointed and difficult to follow, such as the transition from DNA formation to pimples. The referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. To improve, focus on ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central idea that directly supports your main argument regarding the prompt.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is limited and often used incorrectly, which impedes communication. Phrases like 'the rumours researches and dangerous' and 'addressed pupils under poverty' are nonsensical in this context. There is a lack of precision, and the student struggles to express ideas clearly due to a restricted range of vocabulary. To improve, focus on learning collocations and word forms rather than isolated words. Practice using vocabulary that is relevant to the specific topic of business and advertising to ensure your writing is appropriate for an academic task.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The grammar is characterized by frequent errors that often distort meaning. There are significant issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'many cases argues'), sentence structure (e.g., 'who is become most popular'), and word order. Complex sentence attempts are consistently faulty, and basic punctuation is often misused. The high frequency of errors makes the text difficult to read and understand. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of relative clauses, before attempting more complex grammatical structures.
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