Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-07-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In this modern era, businesses show the quality of their new products through advertising in different ways. In my perspective, it is growth of business, but it is a totally negative development. My inclinations will be discussed in ensuring paragraphs in which I will lead to well find conclusion.

To commence with, the foremost is that businesses do this due to increase their profit as well as expand their business in different areas. To explain this, when business give advertisements on different websites such as Facebook, Instagram and other online apps then people purchase this things after see it on online, which results businesses make more profit and some local shops buy this things also which play a vital rule in expanding business. Moreover, businesses do this due to attract people. To illustrate this, when individuals see new things online and they attracted by the beauty of things after that they spend more money on this things.

On the other hand, the foremost argument to justify my stand is that by this way wastage is increased due to lot of factor. To elaborate this , when people purchase more things online after that they use this things once a time and than put into the garbage, which results wastage rate is increased. Moreover, it is a wastage of time as well as money because people spend more time on see different advertisements and purchase unnecessary things which they do not need in their everyday life.

To conclude this, the aforementioned statement has some reasons why businesses do this. However in my opinion it is totally negative development because it is wastage of money as well as time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: explaining why businesses emphasize new products and providing an opinion on whether this is positive or negative. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you identify profit and attraction as reasons, the explanations are repetitive and lack depth. The negative aspect is also explored, but the argument regarding 'wastage' could be more sophisticated. To improve, ensure that your supporting examples are more specific and that your position is consistently maintained with more nuanced reasoning throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use basic cohesive devices like 'To commence with', 'Moreover', and 'On the other hand' to signal transitions. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and the flow between sentences is occasionally hindered by grammatical errors. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the phrase 'this things', which makes the connection between ideas slightly repetitive. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would elevate your score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is quite repetitive. Phrases like 'this things' and 'wastage is increased' appear multiple times, which limits the range of your expression. There are also some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'lead to well find conclusion' and 'play a vital rule'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider variety of synonyms and more precise collocations to express your ideas, rather than relying on simple, repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. While there are attempts at complex sentences, they are often marred by grammatical errors, such as 'when business give advertisements' (missing article/pluralization) and 'people purchase this things after see it' (incorrect verb form). There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement and article usage throughout the text. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and then gradually incorporate more complex structures like relative clauses or conditional sentences, ensuring they are grammatically accurate.

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