Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-07-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Marketing and sales industry are taking a leap in contemporary times as the there are variety of advertisements present. As a wide range of choices are available for a single product, businessmen often emphasis on certain unique features to make it different from others. This trend does have advantages as well as disadvantages which will be discussed in this essay.

To begin with, commercial industries usually focus on upgraded versions of products because it stand out firmly in today's market competition, thus gaining fame and popularity among the people. Consequently, such popularity will be bring significant hike in sales promising overall growth and success for the company. Also, today's youth concentrates on variable features, hence, keeping that in mind companies often manufacture products which offers certain facilities in order to satisfy the customer. For instance, even after presence of numerous types of mobile phones, Iphones are the highest selling and the most popular one because of their unique features.

On the other hand, sometimes these promises of many companies do not serve the purpose, thus they mislead a person. People often spend

huge amount of money in order to have special product, however it is not satisfactory for all the instances . For example, various kind of beauty products manufactured from different companies usually advertise about the benefits , however, these products do not satisfy customer’s expectations .

Hence, on a concluding note, although advertisement promotes the product which eventually enhances the sales, sometimes it does not fulfill the promises.Therefore, commercial industries should consider people's needs along with their own profit.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: explaining why businesses emphasize 'newness' and providing an opinion on whether this is positive or negative. The ideas are relevant, such as the need for market differentiation and the potential for misleading consumers. However, the development is somewhat superficial. For instance, the discussion on beauty products is a good start but lacks depth in explaining the broader societal impact. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your arguments with more detailed analysis or nuanced examples. The position is clear throughout, but the conclusion could be more decisive in summarizing your stance on whether the trend is ultimately positive or negative.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Consequently', 'On the other hand', and 'Hence' are used to guide the reader through the argument. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For example, the transition between the discussion of mobile phones and the shift to the negative aspects of advertising is a bit abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a strong, unified focus would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'contemporary times', 'market competition', and 'satisfy customer’s expectations'. However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation. For example, 'commercial industries' is used where 'companies' or 'businesses' would be more natural, and 'variable features' is not the most precise term for 'diverse' or 'advanced' features. There are also minor errors, such as 'highest selling' (should be 'best-selling'). To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and expanding your range of topic-specific vocabulary to express your ideas with greater nuance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the fluency of the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('industry are', 'it stand out'), article usage ('the there are'), and tense errors ('will be bring'). Additionally, there are punctuation inconsistencies, such as spacing before commas. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your points, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage would significantly improve your accuracy.

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