Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In these days, businesses promote their product as new in their advertising. it is widely believed that this issue has become in the modern world. I my opinion this issue is more positive affects than negative. the last In this essay we will discuss the drawbacks of advertising their products as new.

To begin with this issue, the negative point of business to advertise their products as new include that companies proposed the new features of their product that people inspired more and buy them. For example, apple company introduced new model of iPhone every year and also new cameras in its which leads to more sales of product. Moreover, the companies introduced their new products with increasing the demand of people. For example, the shampoos, soaps and detergents which result in more sales because it us the nature of people in world that they inspire by new things

Furthermore, the last but not least the advertising of new products leads to build the company at higher position by people that they promote new products over world by showing adds on tv and posture or banners on roads. For example, the adds of new shampoos of tv or mobile and the banners of restaurants on mall road and GT road. This results in exports and imports and thing which leads to increasing their business in social market.

In conclusion, advertising new products has many advantages such as uplifting their business. However, In my personal perspective, positive trend encourages hope in people that they try more to built their business

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt but struggles with clarity and logical development. While you identify that businesses promote products as 'new' to increase sales, the explanation of why this is a positive or negative development is underdeveloped. You mention that it is a 'positive trend' in the conclusion, but the body paragraphs fail to clearly argue this point, instead focusing on describing the phenomenon. The essay lacks a clear, consistent position throughout. To improve, ensure each paragraph directly supports your thesis statement and provides a more nuanced analysis of the impact of this marketing strategy on consumers and society.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is often hindered by unclear transitions and awkward phrasing. While you use some cohesive devices like 'To begin with' and 'Furthermore', they are sometimes used incorrectly or do not effectively link the ideas. For instance, the transition 'the last but not least' is used inappropriately. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes confusing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of your argument. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one will significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive, which restricts your ability to convey complex ideas. You rely on basic terms like 'new', 'products', and 'business' throughout the essay. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'proposed the new features' instead of 'highlighted the new features' and 'inspire by new things' instead of 'inspired by new things'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary, including more precise verbs and adjectives, and focus on using words in their correct context to express your ideas more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'companies introduced their new products with increasing the demand'), incorrect article usage, and sentence fragments or run-on sentences. The structure of your sentences is generally simple, and attempts at more complex structures often result in errors. For example, 'it is widely believed that this issue has become in the modern world' is grammatically incomplete. Focus on mastering basic sentence structures, ensuring correct verb tenses, and proofreading for punctuation errors to improve your accuracy.

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