Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In contemporary society, numerous businesses globally promote their products as innovative and unprecedented through various advertising platforms. This practice is primarily designed to attract consumers and encourage them to purchase these items. In my opinion, this trend represents a negative development, which I will elaborate upon in the following paragraphs.

The main objective of any organization is to maximize revenue and profitability. One effective strategy for achieving this goal is to introduce novel products to the market, accompanied by claims that the company is the pioneer of such innovations. When consumers encounter these assertions in advertisements, they are often inclined to purchase the promoted products. For instance, when a smartphone manufacturer asserts that it is the first to introduce specific features, it is frequently the case that similar features have already been available in competitors' devices. A pertinent example of this is the recent Apple iPhone 16 series, which claimed to debut the 'always on display' feature, portraying it as a completely original innovation distinct from the functionalities offered by Android devices, a claim that is factually inaccurate.

Such claims can lead consumers to make purchases that may not be warranted. The financial resources expended on these products could be allocated towards more productive avenues. For example, once a customer buys a smartphone, the market value of that device typically begins to decline almost immediately. Conversely, if the consumer chose to invest that money in a fixed deposit account or savings instrument, they would not only preserve their capital but also accrue interest income over time. Additionally, frequent upgrades of smartphones contribute to the creation of electronic waste, posing a significant threat to environmental sustainability. The manufacturing process of smartphones also consumes considerable resources, including water, electricity, and gas, which could be better utilized to enhance the quality of life for local communities.

In conclusion, Such claims can lead consumers to make purchases that may not be warranted. The financial resources expended on these products could be allocated towards more productive avenues. For example, once a customer buys a smartphone, the market value of that device typically begins to decline almost immediately. Conversely, if the consumer chose to invest that money in a fixed deposit account or savings instrument, they would not only preserve their capital but also accrue interest income over time. Additionally, frequent upgrades of smartphones contribute to the creation of electronic waste, posing a significant threat to environmental sustainability. The manufacturing process of smartphones also consumes considerable resources, including water, electricity, and gas, which could be better utilized to enhance the quality of life for local communities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: explaining why businesses emphasize 'newness' and providing a clear opinion on whether this is positive or negative. The ideas are relevant and well-supported with examples, such as the smartphone industry. However, the conclusion is a verbatim repetition of the third paragraph, which is a significant structural flaw. While the position is clear, the repetition suggests a lack of full development in the final section, preventing a higher score. The arguments regarding consumer behavior and environmental impact are well-articulated, but the essay would benefit from a more original summary in the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a progression of ideas from the motivation of businesses to the negative consequences for consumers and the environment. Cohesive devices such as 'In contemporary society', 'Conversely', and 'Additionally' are used effectively to link sentences. However, the cohesion is severely undermined by the fact that the entire conclusion is a copy-paste of the previous paragraph. This repetition disrupts the flow and makes the essay feel unfinished or poorly edited, which negatively impacts the overall coherence of the piece.

Lexical Resource — Band 7.0

The vocabulary is generally appropriate for an academic task, with good use of terms like 'contemporary society', 'unprecedented', 'maximize revenue', and 'environmental sustainability'. The range is sufficient to convey complex ideas clearly. There are no significant spelling errors, and the word choices are generally precise. To reach a higher band, the student should aim for more sophisticated collocations and idiomatic expressions to demonstrate a wider, more flexible range of vocabulary, though the current level is quite solid for this task.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0

The essay demonstrates a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures. The grammar is generally accurate, with few errors that impede communication. For example, the use of conditional structures ('if the consumer chose to invest...') and complex noun phrases is handled well. Punctuation is mostly correct, though there is a minor error with a capitalized 'Such' at the start of the conclusion. The sentence construction is varied and shows a good level of control, making the text easy to read and follow.

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