Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-09
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Recently,some businesses usually emphasise that their products are recently produced in somewhere while advertising. In this essay, i will be discussing reasons for this,the impact and the negative development.
Generally,while business owners advertising their products as a new makes has both positive and negative development to the society. However, many business owners might be afraid of the damages they will encountered if the general public know that their goods are outdated, by doing so the hide it while advertising,forgetting the harmful impacts it will bring to the communities. Fore instance, a company that is producing odogwu bitters might hide the date he manufactured his good when advertising without mind that that it will bring negative development to the societies like kidney failure.
Furthermore, while advertising businesses this days,the owners mostly focusing on the what the will gain, They count the amount they spent on the products during manufacturing,so the will do anything possible to cover the money they spent anytime the advertise their goods. For example, someone that produce bread will not tell people that the bread is not in good conditions rather he will market it as a recently products so that he can sell out.
Talking of the negative impact,when business owners only emphasise that their products are new,they itend to bring damages to the nation. Lets take for instance, if energy drink company keep presenting their goods as a new products without telling people that it has been expired,they will cause a lot of kidney damages to the society
In conclusion, although both has positive and negative impact, but i think that businesses this days usually emphasising that their products are new brought a massive damages to the society and that is one of the reason we have rampant of kidney failures today
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing why businesses emphasize newness and whether this is positive or negative. However, the development is limited and repetitive. The argument focuses almost exclusively on the negative aspect of expired goods, failing to explore the broader marketing or psychological reasons why 'newness' is emphasized in advertising. The position is clear, but the ideas are not fully extended. The examples provided, such as 'odogwu bitters' and bread, are somewhat anecdotal and lack the depth required for a higher band. To improve, you should broaden your scope to include consumer psychology or competitive advantage, rather than focusing solely on the issue of expired products.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. While there are some cohesive devices used, such as 'Furthermore' and 'In conclusion', they are often used mechanically or incorrectly. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the flow between sentences is frequently interrupted by grammatical errors. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks a clear topic sentence followed by supporting evidence. The transition between the reasons for the behavior and the evaluation of its impact is abrupt, making the overall argument feel disjointed.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. There is a reliance on basic terms like 'goods', 'products', and 'damages'. Some word choices are inaccurate or awkward, such as 'rampant of kidney failures' instead of 'a high incidence of kidney failure' or 'without mind that' instead of 'without considering that'. There is little evidence of less common lexical items or idiomatic language. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise vocabulary related to business and marketing, such as 'consumer perception', 'competitive edge', or 'product lifecycle', and work on improving your collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'businesses... usually emphasise', 'the owners mostly focusing'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are run-on or fragmented, and punctuation is often misused, such as the lack of spaces after commas. While there is an attempt at complex sentences, they are often faulty, leading to a lack of clarity. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect verb tenses.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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