Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-11
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Numerous businesses in recent times are trying to generate new ideas for selling their products to consumers to compete with their rivals. I believe this development has quieted a few merits and demerits of its own and the positivity outweigh the negativity in a few ways that makes its a positive development.
As it is seen that majority of the businesses are spending heavily on the marketing teams to advertise their products to boost their sales. In order to, combat with their competitors in the market and to earn people's trust by lowering their products prices. For instance, Loreal and Maybelline both produce mascaras but due to Maybelline's vividly and catchy slogans about volumizing the lashes people tend to purchase it more often. Moreover, usually these businesses are updating and upgrading their products for better quality. This is because the costumers can acquire improved version and it helps elevates their business market value buy providing buyers with various choices. For example, Toyota company manufacture hundreds of car for buyers to choose from multiple options according to their preferences.
On the contrary, majority of the times these advertising can be misleading. As due to the tough competitions most companies exaggerate about their products that tempt people to buy it. To signify this point, Smartphone companies often change only the color of a product and label it limited edition which impacts the consumers to pay a premium price and waste money on superficial upgrades. Furthermore, whatever the amount that is utilized in these advertising campaigns is passed down directly to the buyers for high retail prices. One notable instance is, a single network TV commercial spot or a nationwide campaign costs millions of dollars, the company factors these massive marketing expenses directly into the final cost of the medication.
Nevertheless, these implications does have an affect on the buyers directly or indriectly but according to my understanding due to heavy adve
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: explaining why businesses emphasize newness and providing an opinion on whether this is positive or negative. However, the essay is incomplete, ending abruptly mid-sentence in the final paragraph. While the position is clear, the development of ideas is hindered by the lack of a conclusion and the unfinished final argument. The examples provided, such as the comparison between L'Oreal and Maybelline or the mention of Toyota, are relevant and support the points well. To improve, ensure all parts of the argument are fully developed and that the essay reaches a logical conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay uses paragraphing to organize ideas, with a clear separation between the reasons for advertising and the potential drawbacks. Cohesive devices are present, such as 'Moreover', 'On the contrary', and 'Furthermore', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or misused, such as 'In order to, combat with their competitors'. Additionally, the abrupt ending significantly disrupts the overall flow and coherence of the piece. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices more naturally and ensure that the structure remains consistent from start to finish.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There are some good collocations like 'marketing expenses' and 'retail prices'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'quieted a few merits' (likely meant 'quite a few') and 'buy providing' (should be 'by providing'). Some vocabulary is repetitive, and there is a lack of more sophisticated, academic lexical items that would elevate the response. Focusing on precise word choice and checking for common spelling errors will help improve this score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'these advertising can be misleading' (subject-verb agreement), 'these implications does have an affect' (should be 'effect'), and 'the costumers can acquire improved version' (missing article). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. To improve, the student should focus on subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and proofreading for basic grammatical slips to ensure that complex structures are used accurately.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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