Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-11
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In the contemporary world, science and technology have advanced significantly. People get greatly excited when a new product is launched in the market. Businesses nowadays present their products as more improved versions in their advertisements, which directly or indirectly influence the general public. There are several reasons for this. In the subsequent paragraphs, I will discuss on this. Also, I believe it is a negative development.
To begin with, firms usually introduced new products or the old products with new packaging and additional features. Consumers are often attracted to these products because they believe that the latest versions offer better quality and improved performance. As a result, companies can create curiosity among customers and encourage them to purchase their products. For instance, Apple company launched iPhone 16, followed by the iPhone 16 Pro and 16 Pro Max, which have better camera clarity, a faster processor, and more RAM, providing a better user experience. These additional features create excitement among consumers and encourage them to purchase the latest models, even when their existing phones are still functional. Therefore, it encourages excessive consumerism.
In addition to this,
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, as it is only 185 words long. This significantly impacts the development of the argument. While the essay introduces the topic and states a position, the second body paragraph is incomplete, and the conclusion is entirely missing. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed. To improve, you must ensure all parts of the prompt are fully developed with sufficient supporting detail and a clear structure, including a proper introduction, well-developed body paragraphs, and a concluding summary.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay shows some logical organization in the first body paragraph, using cohesive devices like 'To begin with' and 'As a result' to connect ideas. However, the abrupt ending at 'In addition to this,' indicates a failure in paragraphing and overall structure. The progression of ideas is interrupted by the incomplete nature of the text. To achieve a higher band, you need to ensure that your essay has a complete structure with clear paragraph transitions and that your ideas are fully developed rather than cut off mid-sentence.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, with some relevant terms such as 'contemporary world,' 'excessive consumerism,' and 'functional.' However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are minor issues with word choice, such as 'discuss on this' (should be 'discuss this'). The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the intended meaning, but it lacks the sophistication and variety required for higher bands. Expanding your range of collocations and using more precise academic vocabulary would help improve your score in this area.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'firms usually introduced' (should be 'introduce') and 'Apple company' (should be 'The Apple company' or just 'Apple'). While these errors do not impede communication, they demonstrate a lack of consistent control over verb tenses and articles. To improve, focus on ensuring subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage throughout your writing. Incorporating a wider variety of complex sentence structures with greater accuracy will also help you reach a higher band.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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