Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-11
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In today's world, the competition in business market is very high and every other business is trying to make more profit. In order to achieve that some brands are emphasizing their product in a new way to get attention. I think that it is a positive development and will prove my statement with reasons below.
Undoubtedly, the business markets are very much crowded with different brands and products so it's quite difficult to stand out. They mainly do this because it will give them benefit and will make their business grow into popularity.
For suppose, If ten brands are selling the shoes with same design then a costumer will have a loads of options to choose from. On the other hand every brand wants to get more customers. So , If a brand emphasize their product in a fully different and unique way then there's no harm in it at all until unless they are scamming their customers.
In this way, businesses will get more creative and will come up with genius ideas so that is a plus point for them. It has some negative aspects too like if a washing machine brand comes up with a new machine every year by just adding a single useless feature just to make more money then this is not acceptable.
To sum up, I think business is business and there is no rule in it in order to run it in a specific way so it is indeed a positive development to me.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: explaining why businesses emphasize 'newness' and providing an opinion on whether this is positive or negative. However, the development of ideas is limited. The explanation for why businesses do this is somewhat repetitive, and the discussion on whether it is positive or negative lacks depth. For instance, the example of the washing machine is a good start but is not fully explored to support the argument. To reach a higher band, you should provide more detailed examples and a more nuanced analysis of the implications of this marketing strategy.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate, such as 'For suppose' instead of 'For example' or 'For instance'. The transition between the positive and negative aspects is abrupt. While there is a logical progression, the connections between sentences could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used in the correct context would significantly enhance the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'very high', 'very much', and 'good'. There are also some awkward collocations and phrasing, such as 'business market' (should be 'the marketplace') and 'grow into popularity'. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to business and marketing, such as 'competitive landscape', 'market saturation', or 'consumer behavior', and ensure that your word choices are natural and contextually appropriate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. Examples include 'If ten brands are selling the shoes with same design' (missing article), 'a costumer will have a loads of options' (incorrect article usage), and 'until unless' (redundant). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are noticeable and occur throughout the text. Focusing on subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and refining complex sentence structures will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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