Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Due to advancement in technology and AI intervention business advertisement and attracting consumers methods are also getting versatile. Some people contend that these days marketing industry puts huge efforts to show that their products and services are new. I firmly believe that, it is a disadvantageous approach as it misleads the public and drag them to make wrong choices.

The business that claim their originality through online platforms by false means have drastic impacts on youth. This can be attributed to the fact the wrong advertising convince young generation to buy useless products. For example, during last summer vocation one of my cousin brought a scrum from an online store because she got impressed by its packaging. but when she came to use it she immediately got infected. Hence, the only appearance of products is not satisfactory.

Moreover, focusing only over advertising content could be unsafe in economical terms because most of the people invest on online shopping methods without being aware about the material and quality of products. a recent study in Pakistan showed that, there was a dramatic increase in the ratio of people who spend a lot on unrealistic products.

Admittedly, there are some advantages to this marketing technique including the rise in number of sales and financial gains but the dark side is fore-more concerning and alarming.

Taking everything into consideration I am of the opinion that the challenges that such advertisements creates are more seginificant.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, identifying reasons for the focus on 'newness' and expressing a clear negative stance. However, the development is limited. The word count is below the 250-word minimum, which restricts the depth of the arguments. The example regarding the cousin's 'scrum' (likely meant to be 'serum') is anecdotal and lacks sufficient analytical depth to fully support the argument. Furthermore, the explanation of why businesses emphasize newness is somewhat superficial. To reach a higher band, you must expand your ideas with more detailed reasoning and ensure the response meets the minimum length requirement to allow for full development of all task components.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Admittedly', and 'Taking everything into consideration' are used to link sentences and paragraphs. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and minor errors in referencing. For instance, the transition between the introduction and the first body paragraph is somewhat abrupt. While the logical structure is present, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical rather than fluid. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of word-choice errors and spelling mistakes, such as 'scrum' instead of 'serum', 'vocation' instead of 'vacation', and 'fore-more' instead of 'far more'. Additionally, 'seginificant' is misspelled. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'marketing industry' and 'financial gains', the overall range is limited. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and ensure that your spelling is accurate, as these errors occasionally distract the reader and impede the professional tone of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that affect clarity. Examples include 'the business that claim' (subject-verb agreement), 'one of my cousin brought' (pluralization), and 'focusing only over' (preposition error). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing capital letters at the start of sentences and incorrect comma usage. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. You should focus on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and proofreading for basic punctuation and capitalization errors to improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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