Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It has been observed that businesses lately have been advertising their goods to be of an updated version of some kind. I strongly tend to see it as a positive trait in the commercial sector development. This essay will explicate the idea further with relevant examples.

Globalisation has had an impact on the economy which further led to multiple production houses. Consequently, competition has arisen amongst them and for their products to stand out from the rest, a particular emphasis is given with a strategic aim of increasing sales. For instance, it has been commonly seen in the Apple products, specifically the Iphones. Whenever they launch a new model of the phone , all the new features of it are highlighted and tend to be of greater value in comparison to the previous model, here one can also see that such decisions predominantly help in building the brand image as well as uplifting its status.

Businesses also tend to do so as method of mitigation to not lose customers or to fade out from the trending market. To cite an example, some makeup brands readvertise their products with new colours and formulation to cope up with the competitors of that industry, even though having multiple similar products , the need for keeping their goods alive depends on awareness of the new upcoming .

In conclusion, I strongly adhere with the concept of advertising their products whilst emphasizing it to be new in some perceivable manner to be positive as it helps the commercial market to gain attention in required areas.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.5
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: explaining why businesses emphasize 'newness' and providing an opinion on whether this is positive or negative. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While the Apple example is relevant, the second paragraph regarding makeup brands is slightly repetitive in its reasoning. To reach a higher band, the arguments could be extended by discussing the broader economic implications or the potential downsides of consumerism, which would provide a more balanced and comprehensive exploration of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'Consequently', 'For instance', and 'To cite an example' are used effectively to guide the reader. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother in the second body paragraph. The referencing is generally clear, though the final sentence of the second paragraph ('the need for keeping their goods alive depends on awareness of the new upcoming') is slightly awkward and lacks a clear noun to complete the thought, which slightly disrupts the cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with some attempts at less common items like 'mitigation' and 'explicate'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, 'production houses' is not the standard term for manufacturing companies, and 'cope up with' is a common error for 'keep up with'. The phrase 'new upcoming' is also grammatically incomplete. While the range is sufficient to convey meaning, more precise and natural vocabulary would be required for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'advertising their goods to be of an updated version' (which is clunky) and 'the Iphones' (incorrect capitalization). Punctuation is generally fine, though there is a spacing error before the comma in 'phone ,'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. A wider variety of error-free complex structures would be needed to move into the 7.0+ range.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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