Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the modern world, businesses are more towards marketing and it is beneficial for businesses in financial terms and marketing has become a common and has attracted significant public attention. It has become a topic of widespread debate due to its impact on individuals and society. This essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages and tell my opinion.

To commence with, one of the major advantages is that using of technology for business can be crucial nowadays and people present their products in a very creative way such as TV ads, Instagram ads etc. This is because most of the individuals are using promotion to boost their sales and attract significant public attention. Although, their are some other businesses such as movies production house and they promote their films for interacting audience in which they spend huge money on their marketing team. For example, small businesses sometime do not afford high budget marketing to sell their products so they hire influencer or social media ads to run their business. Thus, it is beneficial in long-term for individuals.

On the other hand, one of the major disadvantages is that some people create fake product videos and promote their business online and few customer purchase through online and get scammed. This is because people are not aware about products and they face financial lose. Hence, it can impact on individuals and society to harm their money.

In my opinion, marketing is crucial for businesses because it attract customer and boost sales in a short period of time or some people promote their products for promotions but some scammers harm public money through promotions, so at last advertising is good for businesses but individuals can check twice before purchase any items.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, but the development is inconsistent. While you identify why businesses emphasize 'newness' (to boost sales and attract attention) and provide a position (that it is beneficial but requires caution), the ideas are somewhat under-developed. For example, the explanation of why 'newness' is the specific focus is quite thin, and the discussion on the negative aspects is limited to a brief mention of scams. To improve, you should expand on the psychological or competitive reasons why 'new' is a powerful marketing tool and provide more nuanced arguments regarding the impact on consumer behavior.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'To commence with' and 'Thus, it is beneficial' are used, but the logical flow between sentences is sometimes disjointed. For instance, the transition from discussing movie production houses to small businesses is abrupt. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult to track the argument's progression. Improving the variety and precision of linking words will help create a smoother, more professional flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on repetitive phrasing such as 'boost sales' and 'attract significant public attention'. There are also some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'financial lose' (should be 'financial loss') and 'interacting audience' (should be 'engaging the audience'). To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to marketing and consumerism, and ensure that your word forms are used correctly in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'businesses are more towards marketing'), incorrect article usage, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'their are some other businesses'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on sentence construction and proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy will significantly improve your score.

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